There’s nothing more nightmarish than growing up with a narcissistic mother. Mothers are thought of as nurturing, comforting beings. But some are master manipulators that use their children to meet their own needs.
If your mother is more like the latter description, but you’re unsure that she can be classified as an actual narcissist, TikToker Danish Bashir (@narcabusecoach) is going over three things that you can use to confirm that your mother is a narcissist.
Number one: a narcissistic mother acts like an entirely different person in front of others. Around people outside of the family unit, she exudes peace, warmth, love, and light.
As a kid, and even as an adult, it’s a jaw-dropping experience to watch your mother put on such an elaborate act that effectively convinces others that this lovely, kind person is who she really is.
Throughout your childhood, you probably often got comments from people telling you how lucky you are to have such a great mom. When you invite friends over to your house, they might remark on how nice your mom is.
“This behavior traumatizes you as a kid to your core because she is nice and sweet to people but cruel and nasty to you behind closed doors,” said Danish.
As a result, you might find yourself feeling angry, causing you to lash out. And your mother and her friends may wonder why you are so unfriendly and disobedient all the time.
Number two: when anything bad happens to you or anyone she knows, she paints herself as the victim. Instead of being supportive, she makes the entire situation about herself.
In addition, she creates a rift in the family, which forces family members to adopt certain roles. Someone will be put in the position of “golden child,” and someone else will be the scapegoat of the family.