Whether you’re a new mom or your children are in their thirties, there’s one thing that all mothers hear from everyone: you’re a superhero.
But what does that really mean? Why is that title given to only one parent of a child? Is it really the compliment we think it is?
Often, mothers are given the title of superhero when really all that they’re doing is being a good parent when their partner is clearly being a bad one.
This is the perspective that TikTok creator Marriage & Motherhood, @itsme_abbye, takes when responding to a parenting TikTok.
In the video that she stitched with, a dad is talking about how amazing his wife is because whenever she leaves town for a few days, she makes taking care of the kids so easy for him.
By “easy”, he means almost effortless: she literally lays out all of their clothes and backpacks for the days that she’ll be gone and leaves him instructions on what to cook for each kid for breakfast, including how long to cook it for.
“In a follow-up video, the wife came on and explained that her husband is amazing, but she gets severe anxiety and has OCD,” she said. “It’s clear that when she leaves for any period of time it causes her anxiety.”
In her own video, she goes on to talk about the reasons why moms have this perception of being “superheroes” and why it actually isn’t a good sign. Though it may seem like a normal thing because so many moms feel this way, it’s not how a healthy relationship should function, she says.
“Much like a lot of moms who when they step out for the night, or for any time to leave the house, they feel like they have to leave dedicated instructions for caring for the children,” she said. “But do you know why that happens? Why moms experience such anxiety and feel that they have to overfulfill needs in their absence?”