Emily Chan
Do you become easily exhausted when you’re chatting with a group of people? Maybe you can handle a conversation at a party for an hour or so.
However, you start to feel depleted soon after and have difficulty listening to what people are saying as well as crafting responses of your own.
TikToker Margy (@heymargy) is talking about why being around people might be draining for you. And it’s not just because you may be an introvert. There is a strong possibility that you might have a dysregulated nervous system.
If you are a people pleaser or you display fawning qualities, you probably are constantly trying to make sure that everyone likes you. That’s why social interactions can be a lot.
The tendency to abandon your own needs in favor of others’ to avoid disapproval or conflict often stems from childhood. It’s common to see in people who grew up in homes with an unpredictable caregiver.
So in order to adapt to your parent’s or caregiver’s instability, you had to pay close attention to their facial expressions and vocal cues so you would know if they were about to get upset or not.
This creates a state of hypervigilance, which means that your brain never stops scanning for information on what people are doing.
It takes a toll on your energy levels and may explain why hanging out with people is so exhausting. One way to deal with this is by learning how to regulate your nervous system.
You won’t be regulated all the time, but when you learn what exactly helps regulate your nervous system, social interactions will be much more tolerable.
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