When His Girlfriend Found Out That He Never Told Her That He Works With His Ex, She Asked For Some Space
Four years ago, this 30-year-old man got into a relationship with Jenn, 30, so they were both 26 at the time.
They met through work, but he didn’t think there was a conflict of interest because neither of them was the other’s manager. Their relationship lasted for nine months, and they learned that they just didn’t mesh well romantically. It was a mutual breakup, and luckily, there were no hard feelings between the two of them.
After the breakup, he and Jenn both kept working in their respective positions. He was a full-time employee while she worked part-time. Throughout their workdays, they almost never ran into each other.
But when he did have to communicate with Jenn, they were kind to each other and stuck to small talk and didn’t discuss their personal lives at all. He and Jenn never texted each other after the day they ended their relationship.
Six months ago, Jenn accepted a job offer at a different company.
For the last year and a half, he has been in a relationship with Alexis, 30, and they were both 28 when they started dating.
Their relationship has been steadily progressing in a positive direction, and they’re planning to move in together soon.
A couple of days ago, he and Alexis were out and about and took a drive an hour away from their hometown. On the drive home, they started talking about ex-partners.
Alexis recounted a tale of unexpectedly seeing one of her ex-boyfriends and how uncomfortable it had been, and they both had a good laugh about it.
Yakobchuk Olena – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I countered with a story about how my ex (Jenn) came by for an event on Friday, bringing her whole family who had met me. Everyone said hi and hugged her since this was the first time she had been back since she left six months ago, and I just sort of said hi and faded into the background. It was sort of awkward since her whole family was there, but that’s about it. Funny anecdote, or so I thought,” he said.
Once he was done telling Alexis this tale, he chuckled a bit, but she didn’t. Alexis questioned whether he thought it was acceptable to have worked with his ex for an entire year of his relationship with her but not tell her that his ex still worked at the same company.
He responded and said that since he and his ex didn’t talk much and kept things professional, he didn’t think it was something he should have mentioned. He and Alexis talked a bit more, but the last half hour of their drive back home was silent.
After getting back to Alexis’ place, they discussed the situation further.
“Her main complaints were: 1. My friends had met her and knew we worked together, so it felt like she was the butt of a joke. 2. The relationship was ‘not that long ago,’ so I should have told her. 3. This is a significant thing that I didn’t tell her. 4. It definitely affected her feelings since he and Jenn had been intimate, and she feels gross about it,” he explained.
He responded to Alexis’ concerns and said that from his perspective, his relationship with Jenn was quite a while ago.
Also, he added that he went out with other people after the breakup with Jenn, and the relationship with her didn’t feel that pivotal to him.
Then, he reiterated that the only times he and Jenn have spoken since their breakup have been work-related or small talk conversations.
“It, in my opinion, was not a super-serious relationship. We never exchanged I love yous, talked about moving in, or had any serious future talks,” he shared.
“I let her know that I heard her, I felt awful for making her feel this way, that she was completely justified in her feelings, and that I legitimately was not trying to hide anything from her; I just didn’t think about it.”
After their discussion, Alexis told him that she needed some space to think about things. While she trusts that he’s being honest and he’s not concerned about the longevity of their relationship, Alexis is currently upset and has to work through her emotions.
Even though he acknowledges her perspective, he still doesn’t think he made a mistake by not telling Alexis that Jenn still worked at the same company he did.
Do you think he was wrong not to tell Alexis that Jenn, his ex, still worked with him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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