After His Wife Cheated With A Guy Friend, He Gave Her A Specific Set Of Rules To Follow If She Wanted Their Relationship To Continue, But Now He’s Not Sure Whether Keeping Her On A “Short Leash” Was The Right Thing To Do
This 30-year-old guy has been married to his wife, who is 31, for five years. But, just last year, she went out with her friend group and cheated on him with a guy friend.
For context, his wife apparently used to go out with her friends often– returning home at about 12:00 a.m.
However, that particular night, she didn’t get back until super late, at about 5:00 a.m. Not to mention, she was extremely drunk, but he chose not to press his wife for more details that evening.
Still, for a few days afterward, his wife was distant and did not really speak to him at all. So, he didn’t find out about the cheating until a few days later– when his wife finally confessed after he kept asking why she was acting so cold toward him.
“I was shocked,” he recalled, “I never liked the fact that she went out to bars and clubs, but she never gave me a reason to distrust her until that night.”
After finding out about the infidelity, he immediately grabbed a bag, packed up his belongings, and left their home, too. His wife kept begging him to talk about the situation, but he simply was not in the mood.
At the time, he felt everything from anger and upset to pure sadness. He knew that was not the right headspace to be in when he spoke to his wife about the cheating, either, which is why he opted to stay with a friend.
Then, a few more days later, he finally agreed to talk to his wife. At that point, she expressed how sorry she was for cheating and swore it would never happen again. His wife also promised to do anything she could to make him give their relationship a second chance.
“I spent the time I was away thinking of staying or leaving, and I hate the fact that I still love her,” he explained.
Nejron Photo – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“We don’t have kids together, but part of me still wanted to stay. So, I gave her certain conditions if she wanted me to stay.”
Primarily, he didn’t want his wife to see the guy she cheated with ever again. He also wanted to be able to look at her phone or computer at any time without having to ask for permission.
Finally, he did not want his wife to go out to clubs or bars without him anymore.
Now, his wife did agree to this and followed through on the terms. But over the last year, she has been estranged from her friend group since she cannot go out with them anymore. After all, the guy she cheated with would be there.
His wife has not made any new friends, either, and he has not felt inclined to check her computer or her phone.
“And I know she likes to go out, so I try my best to go with her when I have time,” he added.
“The bar and club scene was never my thing, but I try to enjoy it with her.”
Nonetheless, their relationship still is not the same as it once was. He’s even considered getting rid of the rule that his wife cannot go out without him, but every time he thinks about it, he just cannot forget how she cheated.
He has since confided in a friend about the situation, too. And his friend claimed that he should just divorce his wife if he cannot trust her anymore.
“I’ve thought about it. I wasn’t as happy as I used to be,” he vented.
“And my wife says she’s happy with me around, but she isn’t as energetic as she used to be.”
So now, he really isn’t sure how to proceed in their marriage. He’s also been left wondering whether keeping his wife on a “short leash” following the infidelity was the wrong way to handle the situation.
Can you understand why he felt like he couldn’t trust his wife? Were the rules reasonable? Even so, does it sound like their marriage has never recovered from the cheating? What do you think he should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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