She Wants To Kick Her Fiancé Out And End Their Relationship, Even Though It’s The Holiday Season, Because She Can’t Keep Financially Supporting Him Anymore
This woman and her fiancé, Tom, have been dating for a little more than two years. They had a baby girl a while ago, and Tom moved in with her too.
While she was pregnant, she learned that Tom was being sued by his previous landlord because he hadn’t paid the last three months of his rent before he moved in with her.
“I found out because an officer came to my house to serve him with papers, but he was at work. Since then, Tom has been on these cash advance apps that charge ridiculous amounts of interest,” she said.
Over the course of the past several months that Tom has been living with her, he’s hardly ever contributed to any of the monthly expenses, which include a mortgage, insurance, electric, water, gas, trash, and their daughter’s daycare.
She pretty much lives paycheck-to-paycheck, so she doesn’t feel like she makes enough money to be a “sugar momma” in this relationship dynamic.
Once in a while, Tom has given her a bit of money, and he’s constantly assured her that he would start paying half of the bills.
Usually, he’s the one who pays for their groceries, but not all the time. When Tom bought an engagement ring and proposed to her, she accepted his proposal, but not long afterward, she noticed that he was financially struggling again.
Several times, she’s had talks with him about his money troubles, requesting that he pay off and delete the cash advance apps he’s spending so much money on.
“However, he had been using them again and hiding it from me. It got to the point where he had to abandon his checking account and open a new one to avoid all those charges. I have no idea what he’s spending all his money on,” he explained.
vladdeep – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Ironically, Tom earns more money than she does. His only expenses are his car payment, the ring payment, and his phone bill.
As of late, Tom has stopped chipping in for her monthly expenses once again, and she confronted him about it, questioning whether he was struggling with his finances again.
Tom claimed that he wasn’t using any of the cash advance apps anymore. She suggested that maybe he could look for a different job with better pay, but he hasn’t been looking for a new job at all.
Her ex-husband has a successful job, and he even offered to help Tom get an entry-level position at the company he works for.
The position would offer the same pay that her ex-husband earns, and he would have the chance to move up within the company.
Luckily, she and her ex-husband, who have children together, have a wonderful co-parenting relationship, and her ex and Tom get along really well.
There aren’t any hard feelings, and the three of them have all been able to be friendly with one another.
“Tom did not apply for the job and seems complacent where he is,” she shared. “Any time I bring up this issue, I speak to him in a respectful way, and he just constantly sighs and makes excuses and eventually shuts down, telling me I’m being cruel and harsh.”
“I raised my voice the last time we discussed it, but I wasn’t hostile. I’m just at my breaking point.”
Aside from Tom’s financial issues, she thinks he’s a wonderful partner and father, and she feels grateful for him in those aspects.
Unfortunately, she can no longer financially support Tom, and his behavior in regard to money has revolted her.
Now, she’s considering kicking Tom out of her house right after the holidays are over. While she wishes she could end their relationship and ask him to leave immediately, she doesn’t want to cause negativity or chaos for her children when Christmas is coming up so soon.
She still loves Tom, but it’s clear that he will never try to financially contribute.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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