She Finally Left Her Fiancé Because He Kept Demanding That They Have Children Despite Knowing That She Has Never Wanted Kids
This 21-year-old woman has known all her life that she didn’t ever want to have kids. While she didn’t mind being around children, she knew she didn’t want to be a mother. She and her fiancé, 24, have been in a relationship for three years, and she was clear with him from the beginning that she didn’t want to ever become a parent.
Last year, her now-fiancé asked her to marry him, and she accepted his proposal. For the first several months after getting engaged, everything was fantastic. Her fiancé was great and made her so happy.
“However, about six months into the engagement, he kept bringing up the idea of maybe having a baby. I told him every time that I don’t want kids of my own, and he accepted this answer the first few times,” she said.
Her 19-year-old sister gave birth to a daughter at the end of last year. Even though the two of them live eight hours apart, they have a close bond, call each other almost every day, and get together as often as they can. The birth of her niece seems to have triggered something in her boyfriend.
“My fiancé has gone from accepting ‘no’ as my answer to kids to saying how disappointed he is in me for not being maternal like my sister. He constantly makes sly comments and remarks about me ‘hating children’ and how I would be a useless mother. His most recent comment (which he said to my mother) was, ‘When we (him and I) have kids, you’ll have to be the mom if she isn’t going to stick around,'” she explained.
Understandably, this concerned and horrified her, and what was most surprising was that her mother supported his idea, even though she was fully aware that she didn’t want to have children. For the most part, her mother has stood by her choice not to become a mother, expressing that it’s her personal choice.
After her fiancé’s comment, her mother has begun trying to get her to change her mind about children because her sister recently gave birth. At one point, her mother told her that while she understood that she didn’t want to have kids, she needed to consider what her fiancé envisioned for their future as well.
“She said to me, ‘I really hope you change your mind for his sake.’ What? So, I told him that if he was so desperate for a baby, he could have one! Just not with me. I said I would give back the ring, no hard feelings, and we can move on and meet new partners who actually want the same things in life as us. This did not go down well. He shouted, screamed, and smashed up our bedroom,” she shared.
Her fiancé had a complete meltdown when he realized there was the possibility that she would break up with him. He told her that he would be having children and that it would be with her and no one else.
CarlosBarquero – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She repeated that she refused to have kids and wouldn’t change her mind. This caused her fiancé to become even more furious, but she wouldn’t budge. In her view, it would be a mistake to give in and have children when she didn’t want to, pointing out what a massive, life-altering choice starting a family is.
When her fiancé lost his mind, this solidified her decision not to have children and that she couldn’t stay with him after his reaction to her standing up for herself. She removed her engagement ring and gave it back to him.
Her fiancé had a baffled look on his face, and she let him know that a difference of opinion on whether or not to have children was too much of an incompatibility for her, which she’d been upfront with him about from the beginning.
After this, she called her friend and told her what was going on, and her friend was kind enough to come over and pick her up.
As she was waiting for her friend to get to her and her fiancé’s place, her fiancé was still yelling and throwing belongings around in a rage. She left with her friend and now has no idea when she’ll be able to go back to pack up her stuff and move out.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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