He Didn’t Go To His Friend’s Engagement Party Since His Girlfriend Wasn’t Invited, Even Though She Was The One Who Helped His Friend Out So Much With Their Relationship
This 30-year-old man and his friend, John, 31, have been friends since they were 11, and even though they’re not best friends, they’ve been in each other’s lives for all of the huge changes over the years.
He met his girlfriend, Jane, 28, four years ago. Jane is gorgeous, intelligent, and the kindest person he’s ever met. They moved in together two years ago when Jane moved to the city he was living in. Jane and John have been introduced and around each other several times.
Whenever John comes to their city, he stays with them. They’ve gotten together during the weekend a few times, and John has often sought dating advice from Jane. She enjoys spending time with John and considers him “the brother she never had.”
Then, in the middle of 2023, John met a woman named Jill. It was, essentially, love at first sight, and he always talked to him and Jane about her. Jane gave him tips on what to say through texts and great places to take Jill on dates to make a good impression. Seven months into John’s relationship with Jill, he proposed, and Jill happily accepted his proposal.
They found out about the engagement when John texted the group chat that the three of them started, sharing a photo of him and Jill after his proposal. Jane called John immediately to tell him congratulations. Earlier this week, John and Jill threw an engagement party in Jill’s hometown on the East Coast. They’re all on the west coast.
“John sent me a personal invitation through text. The invitation did not specify plus ones, so I was a little confused. I thought it was safe to assume Jane was invited, too. The next time I had a conversation with John, I casually mentioned how excited Jane was about the party and that she was already looking up flight tickets, to which John replied, ‘Oh, she’s not invited,'” he said.
Understandably, he was shocked, so he questioned why Jane wasn’t invited to the engagement party. John casually stated that he only allowed married people to bring their spouses as plus ones. He thought this wasn’t fair to Jane because she wasn’t only his plus one. Jane had been one of John’s friends for a long time.
“He has spent many hours and weekends hanging out with her. They have inside jokes. She has him over for dinner often. And secondly, I have plans to propose. I bought a ring and everything. If everything goes well, Jane will be engaged to be by her next birthday in a couple of months. John is aware of this,” he explained.
After updating Jane about how John let him know that she wasn’t invited, she was rightfully saddened. However, she acknowledged that it was John’s right to choose not to invite certain people since it was his engagement party. She said that she wasn’t mad, and she encouraged him to attend the party.
Alexandra – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only
Jane kept researching gift ideas for Jill and John despite not being invited. He feels so proud of how maturely Jane reacted to being excluded from John and Jill’s engagement party, acknowledging what a commendable person she is. He is thrilled to be marrying a woman like her.
Ultimately, he chose not to go to the engagement party. He wasn’t sure if he was overdramatic, but he thought it was rude that John didn’t invite Jane when she’d been such a good friend to him all of these years.
A few days before the party, John texted him and said that he was excited to see him, adding that he’d invited a lot of his friends from college that he could hang out with and not feel left out since Jane wouldn’t be with him.
In response, he informed John that he wouldn’t be coming to the party, pointing out that it would be a pricey flight for him to take across the country, and he didn’t want to do that on his own. The party is pretty small, but he was definitely planning on attending the wedding. Unfortunately, John never replied to his text.
“Jill and Jane have not even met once. Actually, I have not met Jane yet, either. The only contact I have had with her was when she took my number from John and sent me the engagement party invite through text. She seems to have me on some list,” he shared.
So, he wasn’t sure who made the choice to exclude Jane from the party. He didn’t think it was likely that Jill was jealous of Jane since the two of them hadn’t met in person. Over the course of a few days before the party, he received several updates from Jill about the party plans, and he didn’t reply to any of the messages.
While he doesn’t feel bad for deciding to forgo the party so he can hang out with Jane, he isn’t entirely sure if it was rude of him to do so.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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