She Set Up An Emergency Fund In Case She Needs To Leave Her Husband Because He Cheated On Her And Has Been Unemployed For Months, Forcing Her To Shoulder All Their Expenses Alone
This 29-year-old woman has a husband, who is 32, but their relationship has been rocky for the past year and a half. In her mind, her husband has been on “thin ice” ever since making a series of selfish decisions.
First, he was unemployed for an entire year after he was let go from his job. That whole situation began with her husband deciding to take a “small break” in order to get an IT certification.
But, while she supported him in the beginning, her husband didn’t communicate anything about his progress or a completion timeline, and she was forced to take on the bulk of the financial responsibilities at home.
“I became the breadwinner not by choice, and it was a very stressful time. I begged and pleaded with him to help me because we were drowning, and he did nothing,” she recalled.
She even considered leaving him back then and consulted a lawyer, but she just didn’t have the money for a divorce. Her husband also eventually found a temp job, and even though it was not related to IT, their relationship started to recover.
Yet, six months later, he lost his job again. So now, he’s been unemployed for the past two months, and it’s been tough for her at home.
Thankfully, her husband actually finished his certification this time around after starting to work on it again, and he’s been helping around the house more while unemployed. However, he still hasn’t had any luck finding a job, and she told him she can’t go through the same financial struggles again.
On top of that, she found out just a few months ago that her husband had cheated on her. That’s why divorce has been “on the table” for them recently, despite him going to a therapist and making some “big improvements.”
But, regardless of her husband’s efforts to fix their marriage, she’s still scared for their future and feels like she needs to protect herself.
Minerva Studio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“In the seven years we’ve been together, he’s shown me he’s just a ‘go with the flow’ type of guy, and I’ve had to pay the price for it,” she explained.
“I’m almost 30 with a great career, but I have nothing to show for any of it because this relationship has been financially draining.”
They’ve since racked up a ton of debt during her husband’s unemployment period, too, meaning that they’re barely able to make ends meet right now. And she keeps trying to tell her husband how exhausted she is, but nothing seems to change.
She, on the other hand, decided to sell her old home– which she bought before tying the knot.
Given the current state of their relationship, though, she decided to put the newfound funds into a personal savings account under her name only as an emergency fund.
Yes, she and her husband had previously agreed to place the money in a joint account for both of them.
“But I don’t trust that he won’t burn through it the same way we racked up credit card debt during his last unemployment,” she reasoned.
“I plan to leave it in my personal account, and in case he doesn’t follow through and start contributing, I will be leaving.”
Then, if her husband decides to “move forward” and fix their issues, she will just move the money into their shared account.
She was very transparent about her decision, too, and told her husband her plan. Still, he is really angry and believes that she’s just planning on their marriage ending.
“But I feel like it would be stupid to be stuck in supporting us again and not being able to afford a way out if I want to leave,” she vented.
Nonetheless, with her husband angry at her, she’s been left wondering if setting up a personal emergency fund to protect herself in the event of a divorce was really so unreasonable or not.
Do you think it’s smart that she’s trying to protect herself? How would you feel if your husband was both unfaithful and stopped contributing financially? Should she leave him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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