She’s Been With Her Boyfriend For 13 Years, And They Have Three Kids Together, Yet He’s Never Proposed, And She’s Very Upset That They’re Still Not Married
This 34-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 35, have been in a relationship for 13 years, and they have three children together. Not long after she gave birth to their first child, they started discussing the idea of marriage, and they both seemed to agree about wanting that for their future.
Even though her boyfriend didn’t propose or buy an engagement ring, they had a serious conversation about their future wedding and how they both wanted an intimate ceremony with their close friends and family. They also discussed other details like who they had in mind to be part of their wedding party.
“So, I just patiently waited for it to happen. We’ve never been super comfortable financially and have had some ups and downs,” she said.
Despite their struggles, she assumed that her boyfriend would propose someday when he felt better about their finances and the stability of their relationship. Over the years, they never broke up. No matter what issues they faced, they worked through them and stayed together.
Since the initial conversation about marriage, they discussed it several more times. During the first talk, she told him she wouldn’t like to marry at the courthouse. However, she was aware that neither of their families was wealthy, so their wedding wouldn’t be too extravagant. The most important to her is to have a memorable, meaningful ceremony (which is why she vetoed the courthouse wedding idea).
“After so much time, I’m starting to feel like it will never happen. It honestly feels like I can’t live up to his expectations (he has voiced his frustrations with certain things, as have I. But nothing worth separating over. Why not marry me if you don’t want to leave over said frustrations?),” she wondered.
A while ago, she let her boyfriend know that she was upset he hadn’t proposed. He seemed stunned and told her he didn’t realize marriage was so important to her since they already acted like they were married anyway. In response, she clarified that marriage was incredibly important to her.
She went on to express that she has always dreamed of getting married someday, ever since she was a young girl, and she hopes for that dream to come true. For her, it’s important that she and their children have her boyfriend’s last name, and she is ready for him to be her husband, not just her boyfriend.
“More than any of that, I want to feel like I’m good enough to be his wife. Because right now, it kind of feels like he wants an easy out if he changes his mind one day,” she shared.
wavebreak3 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
After this discussion, she’s been pondering if her boyfriend will decide to propose after all, only because she expressed that she wants him to. During their talk, it seemed like he felt guilty that he’d upset her. However, if her boyfriend proposes, it wouldn’t be organic.
The proposal would only happen because she told him she wanted to get married, and it wouldn’t feel as romantic. She then compared it to receiving flowers after whining about never receiving flowers.
Upon reflection, she wonders if she’s in a lose-lose situation and if she’ll ever feel satisfied in this relationship, even if her boyfriend eventually proposes to her. At the same time, she’s unsure of whether or not she’s overthinking it.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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