So, You Fell In Love With Your Best Friend: Here’s Exactly What You Should Do Next
You may think that falling in love with your best friend and being unable to get over it only happens in movies, specifically rom-coms.
The ‘friends to lovers’ pipeline can be beautiful or end in a somewhat awkward disaster. It’s terrifying when you realize you’ve developed feelings for a friend, even more so if it’s a friend you’ve had for a very long time.
New friendships turning into love isn’t as surprising or unusual as a friend you’ve only had for a few months or so can easily turn into something more. But when you start to fall for someone you’ve been friends with for a long time, things are more complex.
With longtime friends, you have a very special kind of bond and relationship. You interact with your friends much differently than you do with your romantic partners, and you depend on them differently.
The scariest part about falling in love with a friend is that they may not love you back, leaving them not knowing what to do.
So, if you recently discovered that you’ve fallen for your best friend or have been dealing with these feelings for a while, here’s some advice.
First things first, you want to analyze your true feelings closely. There’s a difference between loving someone and loving them romantically. Consider whether you have romantic feelings for your partner or just love them as a friend.
Ask yourself these questions: Am I genuinely attracted to them? Do I see myself having a future with them? Do I value them more as a friend, or do I want something more out of our relationship?
Clearing up and specifying these feelings may provide you with some mental clarity.
bnenin – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
If you’ve done all that and realized you love your friend and want to be with them romantically, there are more steps you can take.
You can consider the pros and cons of admitting your feelings to them. For instance, a pro would be that you get the news off your chest, but a con could be that your friendship may change.
Another thing I’d highly recommend doing is to tell someone. You don’t have to tell your friend how you feel right away, but talking to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor can help you work through these feelings and decide whether or not you want to tell your friend how you feel.
Another great option is to talk to a mutual friend who knows both of you, as they may be able to offer some more insight into how your friend feels about you or what their love life is like. Just make sure you don’t talk to a blabber mouth who will end up telling your secret later.
Finally, you can make a decision. You can either tell your friend how you feel and see how they react, or you can not tell them and work on moving on.
If you want to tell them how you feel, write down all your feelings and concerns beforehand. Clarify when you started feeling the way you do, what you’d like out of your relationship, and what you’d like to happen if they don’t feel the same way.
Give your friend time to react and allow them space to decide how they want to move forward.
If you don’t want to tell them, you have to move on! Focus on yourself for a while and consider getting involved in the dating scene with other people. Create a bit of distance from that friend as you heal, but don’t cut them off completely.
Remember, you love having your friend in your life, so as long as you stress to that person how much they mean to you, you two should be able to figure something out. Good luck!
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