In Addition To Knowing Your Love Language, You Should Also Determine Your “Stress Language” To Understand How You React In Tense Situations And How It Impacts Your Romantic Relationship
Over the last few years, people have become more passionate about and interested in ‘love languages.’ If you didn’t know, your love language is the most common way you show love to someone else.
For instance, if you like to show your love by doing things for the people you like and taking on favors, that likely means your love language is ‘acts of service.’
Love languages are great to recognize because some people can behave very differently and take on different mannerisms when they’re in love. But have you ever wondered if there’s another ‘language’ we speak when we’re experiencing something other than love?
While the five types of love languages are meant to identify how you act and behave in a love relationship, there is a new phenomenon known as ‘stress languages,’ which help you determine how you act in stressful situations.
This is especially helpful for people in relationships, as how you and your partner handle stressful situations can deeply impact your relationship.
Now, you might be wondering, what are these five stress languages?
The Denier
Sometimes, when people are under stress, their first instinct is to ignore the problem and try to put a positive spin on it instead of solving it. Often, people do this in hopes it’ll go away.
But sometimes, you can’t always sugarcoat stressful situations, and denying them or trying to put a positive spin on everything can get frustrating for your partner.
SHOTPRIME STUDIO – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
The Numb One
Another popular move for people who can’t handle stress is trying to numb it.
Unfortunately, the ‘numb one’ may try to numb their anxious feelings in harmful ways, like sneaking off to the local bar for a few rounds, going to parties, binging media, etc. This can be harmful for both people involved in a relationship.
The Fixer
I know so many people who try to solve stressful problems and get everything back to normal as soon as something makes them anxious. The fixer would rather get things back on track immediately and solve the issue instantly than sit in the discomfort and devise a strategic plan.
While that may sound helpful, over time, they may ignore certain boundaries, dismiss your input, and insist on doing things themself.
The Internalizer
If you want to get on a more personal level, I am often ‘the internalizer.’ Internalizer has a hard time expressing their feelings when they’re stressed out and may hold them in for several reasons.
They may feel they’d be burdening their partner by expressing their worries or fear they’ll be judged. However, communication is key in a relationship; you cannot hold those feelings in.
The Exploder
This is the kind of person who lashes out when they’re stressed. Hey, I get it. Who doesn’t want to scream, smash something, or throw a little temper tantrum when stressed?
However, this person is more likely to lash out at their partner, and taking your anger out on someone for no reason is unfair. If they’re angry at their partner, it’s best to realize a calm conversation does more good than a screaming match.
Figuring out which of these stress languages you identify with can help you talk to your partner about it. Pick a day to talk about your stress languages and let them know what to expect from you and how you can improve upon your reactions to anxiety-inducing situations.
The goal of identifying your stress language is not necessarily to keep doing it and expect your partner to deal with it but more so to identify it so you can work on it and how it affects your relationship.
So, for instance, if you’re an ‘Internalizer,’ let your partner know. Tell them you may hold things in but that you’d like to work on having more productive and calming conversations with them to alleviate the stress. Then, see what your partner’s stress language is and discuss it with them.
At the end of the day, stress is no fun. We all process it differently, and you may even use a combination of these ‘languages.’ But again, communication will be your savior. Talk it out and hang in there.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
More About:Advice