7 Reasons Your Relationship Is Failing

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We Don’t Enter Into Relationships Hoping They Will Fail

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The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. We usually enter new relationships with solid intentions, hoping to build something that’s meaningful, lasting, and full of love. But even after finding a supportive partner and getting off to a strong start, relationships can still lose their way.

The hard truth is that love alone isn’t enough to sustain a healthy dynamic. It takes persistent effort and honest communication.

Here Are 7 Reasons Why Your Relationship Is Failing, Plus What You Can Do About It

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So, you may not even realize when small issues slowly begin to snowball into major problems, ultimately causing you to feel like your relationship is failing.

Recognizing the signs as early as possible is key, giving you a chance to fix things and mend the disconnect or leave on your own terms. So, here are seven reasons why your relationship might be struggling and what you can do about it.

1. Your Communication Has Become Surface-Level

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When the honeymoon phase wears off and you and your partner settle into the rush of real everyday routines, it’s extremely easy for deep conversations to take a back seat.

Instead of connecting on a more emotional level, your daily discussions might be reduced to topics like scheduling, chores, or the same-old question: “How was your day?” Without communication that’s meaningful and intentional, relationships will inevitably start to feel distant. So, it’s crucial to carve out time for genuine conversations where you’re both present and fully transparent.

It doesn’t matter if you two choose to talk about something silly, such as debating your favorite movies, or open up on a more serious level, like sharing your anxieties or dreams. The most important thing is that you and your partner put in the effort to listen and reignite the chemistry that brought you together in the first place.

2. You’ve Both Carried Emotional Baggage Into Your Relationship

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It’s no secret that past experiences, like childhood trauma, self-esteem issues, or even old relationship wounds, can leave scars that we unintentionally carry into fresh partnerships. This unresolved pain then has the ability to build invisible walls between significant others.

In order to develop a solid bond, it’s important to confront your past and invite your partner to do the same. Being vulnerable isn’t a walk in the park, but once you’re willing to open up, support each other, and potentially seek help, trust and empathy will become the driving forces behind your relationship.

3. You Or Your Partner Has Idealistic Expectations Of Love

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After watching so many rom-coms as a kid, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that love should be effortless or come with a fairytale ending.

In reality, relationships are messy, imperfect, and require a ton of hard work. And if either of you holds onto the idea of a flawless romance, you’ll automatically be set up for disappointment when your relationship doesn’t match up.

Instead, let go of those idealistic expectations and make a conscious effort to appreciate everything in your relationship equally, flaws and all. Remember that, without the hard times, we wouldn’t be able to recognize or feel happiness.

4. You Don’t Trust Each Other

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Trust is the foundation that all healthy relationships are built on, and without it, everything else will start to crumble. If you or your partner has doubts or is constantly suspicious, you’ll begin to feel distance, resentment, and tension brewing.

You can work on building trust by being open, consistent, and communicative. Don’t keep secrets, be there for your partner, and speak up whenever you’re feeling slighted to help them understand where you’re coming from.

At the same time, try not to project any pain from your past relationships onto your current partner, and remember that trust isn’t about controlling someone; rather, it’s choosing to believe in them unless they give you a reason not to.

5. You Two Are On Different Pages

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When two people want different things in a relationship, it’s just a matter of time before conflict ensues.

Perhaps one of you is thinking about marriage, while the other just wants to keep things casual. Or, maybe your life goals and values are simply pulling you in opposing directions.

It’s essential to be clear about your intentions from the start and continue to check in with each other as things progress. And if you realize you’re moving at different speeds or heading down separate paths, it could be time for an honest conversation about the future of your relationship.

6. You’ve Lost Your Sense Of Independence

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Feeling close to your partner is definitely important, but losing your sense of self while in a relationship can be just as damaging as growing apart. When you give up your interests or passions just for the sake of someone else, dissatisfaction and resentment usually follow close behind.

It’s necessary and completely healthy to maintain your own identity, regardless of who you’re with. Nurturing your friendships, pursuing your hobbies, and working toward personal goals will make you a more fulfilled individual who’s better equipped to show up, learn, and grow alongside your partner.

7. You Compare Your Relationship To Others

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Last but not least, comparison is the ultimate thief of joy. Yet, in the age of social media, it’s tempting to get wrapped up in comparing your relationship to the seemingly perfect ones you see online.

Just keep in mind that you never know what truly goes on behind closed doors, and no couple is without their challenges. If you constantly measure your relationship against others without the full context, you’ll only make yourself insecure and unhappy.

Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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