7 Signs Your Partner Is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Not All Relationship Struggles Come From Outside Forces
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. While relationships are definitely impacted by changing life circumstances and general stress, not all struggles stem from outside forces. Sometimes, the real threat actually comes from within.
When one partner starts to undermine the bond they share with their significant other, whether they realize it or not, it can destroy the foundation of a connection. This kind of behavior is known as relationship sabotage.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Sabotaging Your Relationship
Typically, it results from fear. They could be afraid of vulnerability, rejection, or failure, and even though people who self-sabotage act this way in hopes of protecting themselves, they can ultimately push their partners away.
At the end of the day, healthy relationships need mutual respect, communication, and emotional effort to survive. So, if one person is consistently messing with that balance, it can stifle growth and kill a relationship altogether.
If you feel like you could be in a similar situation, here are seven signs your partner might be sabotaging your relationship.
1. They Criticize Constantly And Focus On Your Flaws
Constructive feedback is crucial for the evolution of any relationship, but there’s a huge difference between helpful honesty and harmful criticism. When your partner always seems to point out what’s “wrong” with you and frames your imperfections as personal failures, it can be really emotionally draining.
A couple who acts as a team would address any issues from a place of care and empathy. Yet, your partner may rarely acknowledge your strengths or accomplishments, using your flaws as weapons instead, especially during fights.
This constant negativity can leave you feeling unworthy and unloved over time when, in reality, it’s the lack of support that’s causing the damage.
2. Your Partner Doesn’t Follow Through On Their Promises
Reliability is what builds trust in relationships. But if your partner often makes promises and rarely follows through (without any valid reasons), it could be more than forgetfulness.
Maybe they say they’ll plan a special date, make time for you, or help you with something important, only for you to be disappointed time and time again.
When this pattern constantly repeats itself, it sends the message that your time and feelings don’t matter to your partner. Moreover, it’s a subtle way of creating more emotional distance and lowering your expectations, which are both common tactics in self-sabotage.
3. They Have Unrealistic Expectations For You
It’s completely natural to want your partner to be the best version of themselves, but when expectations are impossible to meet, it can feel more like pressure than encouragement.
Do you feel as if your partner sets their standards so high that you’re always falling short? If so, they might be doing that on purpose, creating an environment where your failure is inevitable.
Not only does this set you up to be disappointed, but it also gives your partner a reason to either criticize you further or withdraw from the relationship. Remember that when you’re with the right person, you’ll feel safe to be yourself, not like you’re always trying to prove your worth.
4. Your Partner Pushes You Away
Obviously, no one enjoys a bad fight, but emotional distance can arguably be just as painful as a verbal argument. Your partner might’ve acted affectionate and invested at the beginning of your relationship, but then, they suddenly became cold and seemed uninterested in your life anymore.
This could look like dodged calls, unanswered or fewer texts, less effort to spend time together, or an unwillingness to resolve any issues. All of these are signs that your partner is pushing you away.
Yes, it’s totally normal for people to need space sometimes, but a cycle of detachment could point to bigger issues, like a fear of commitment, when things start to get serious.
5. They Pick Fights Frequently
Disagreements, both small and large, are bound to happen in every relationship. However, it’s a red flag if your partner likes to pick fights over trivial issues.
Perhaps they have a habit of escalating minor problems into major blowouts. Or, they almost seem to enjoy provoking you and “pushing your buttons.” Again, this could be a way to create more distance in your relationship. Then, your partner could also use the divide to justify their own withdrawal.
Your partner could be doing this as a defensive mechanism to avoid dealing with their own emotional struggles. Or, they may be subconsciously sabotaging your relationship because they’re afraid of getting too vulnerable with you.
6. They Aren’t Trying To Move Your Relationship Forward
Most people enter relationships with the goal of progressing. And this can look different at varying stages, ranging from defining your relationship to meeting each other’s families or even making long-term plans, like moving in together and getting married. Regardless of where you’re at, though, both partners are supposed to be willing to grow together.
Your partner, on the other hand, might evade all conversations about moving forward or delay taking the “next step.” It’s possible that they’re afraid, or they could be intentionally stalling your relationship.
7. The Effort Feels One-Sided
Finally, the biggest sign of relationship sabotage is a lack of equal effort. Everyone knows that it takes two to tango, so if you’re the only person who is pulling their weight (physically or emotionally), it’s not a good sign.
A partner who acts apathetic, uninterested, or unappreciative could be intentionally damaging your bond to avoid opening up and sharing their true feelings about your relationship. So, instead of having to get vulnerable, they’re quietly allowing your connection to unravel.
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