7 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Marriage Material
You Need More Than Love To Make A Marriage Work
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. After you’ve been in a relationship for some time, it’s only natural to wonder whether your partner is actually “marriage material,” if that’s what you’re searching for.
But while love and chemistry can carry a relationship in the short term, deeper qualities like emotional maturity, shared values, and long-term compatibility have to be considered when thinking about building a life with someone.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Isn’t Marriage Material
So, don’t let people make you feel guilty or as if you’re “giving up” by recognizing possible red flags as soon as you can. You’re only trying to protect your future and figure out your own path.
And if you’re unsure whether your partner is cut out to be a spouse, here are seven signs that might help you decide to keep searching.
1. You’re Not On The Same Page When It Comes To Goals And Values
A “spark” can bring two people together, yet it is shared goals and values that keep them aligned over time. If you know that you and your partner have drastically different views on critical topics, like lifestyles, finances, or even politics, that’s not something to overlook.
These aren’t petty disagreements; they’re foundational aspects of your future. This isn’t to say that one person’s perspective is “right” while the other is “wrong.” Rather, it’s the disconnect that’s important to recognize, because being on different pages can lead to constant conflict and, eventually, resentment.
In order to build a happy life, two people have to share a similar vision and be willing to compromise. Marriage might not be the right next step if you two are unable to find common ground on some of life’s biggest decisions.
2. Your Partner Has A Bad Track Record Regarding Loyalty
For most of us, loyalty is non-negotiable, and if your partner has a history of cheating (or even just a casual attitude toward past instances of infidelity), it’s worth considering how that makes you feel.
Sure, maybe they’ve never been unfaithful to you, yet they speak about their past mistakes without remorse or seemingly try to justify their actions. Both of these are major red flags.
At its core, loyalty is about more than staying faithful. It’s about showing reliability, integrity, and a commitment to protecting your partnership. People can absolutely change, too, but what matters most is how seriously they take the idea of trust. Understanding that is the key to protecting yourself from getting heartbroken down the line.
3. They’re Unable To Compromise
Healthy relationships thrive on balance, meaning both partners have to be willing to give and take. So, if one person insists on having things their way every time, from picking what movies to watch to where to go on vacation or settle down, it’s not a good sign.
A pattern of inflexibility can make you feel unheard and out of control of your own life, and understandably, that’ll eventually breed resentment. Remember that if you’re frequently sacrificing your wants and needs for the happiness of your partner without getting that same consideration in return, you’re not in an equal relationship.
4. Your Partner Lacks Follow Through
Consistency really matters since it shows a partnership isn’t one-sided or lacking respect. However, your partner might make promises they can’t keep, which suggests they’re not ready for the responsibilities that come with a committed relationship.
Things like saying they’ll call you after work and never doing it, or making plans and bailing out at the last minute might just seem like small annoyances. Nonetheless, they add up and can bulldoze your sense of trust and stability over time.
If your partner struggles to follow through on the little things, it’s fair to wonder how they’ll handle bigger issues in marriage.
5. They Aren’t Able To Emotionally Support You
We all have tough days, and when you hit a rough patch, your partner is supposed to be one of your strongest supporters. Instead, they may shut down, disregard your emotions, or make you feel like you’re on your own.
Contrary to popular belief, being emotionally supportive doesn’t mean your partner has to have “all the answers” or solve your problems for you. Rather, they just have to be present, listen, and show you empathy.
If they’re unable to offer you a shoulder to lean on, you will feel isolated, despite not actually being alone. This doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is a bad person; they just might not be ready for the deep level of care required for a lasting marriage.
6. Your Partner Seems Hesitant To Commit To A Future
Marriage is obviously one of the biggest commitments you can make in your life. If your partner avoids talking about the future or gives vague, noncommittal answers when you broach serious topics such as tying the knot, having kids, or other long-term plans, it’s a glaring sign that they might not see you in theirs.
Of course, commitment doesn’t have to mean rushing into a wedding tomorrow, but it does mean being open and willing to start a life together. And by dodging these conversations or getting defensive, your partner is leaving your life in limbo.
A relationship that’s stuck in “someday” mode could cause you to waste precious time with someone who might never be ready to take that next step.
7. You Don’t Feel Comfortable Or Like Your Best Self In Your Relationship
At its best, love feels like a safe space where you can be authentically yourself without any fear of being judged. Not all relationships are so genuine, though, and you may feel as if you have to stifle your opinions or change who you are just to keep your partner satisfied.
This isn’t love; it’s you abandoning your individuality. Constantly second-guessing yourself or giving up pieces of your identity is a sign that your relationship isn’t healthy, and it’s unlikely that things will improve after you say “I do.”
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