He’s Furious His Brother-in-Law Used His Mother’s Death In A Book Without Consent
A few years after this UK man in his fifties moved to his wife’s home country, he found out that his mother had cancer. Then, his niece, Laura, was also diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.
Miraculously, his niece wound up surviving a risky operation, but his mother ultimately died. And now, his brother-in-law is planning to publish a book about his niece’s fight against cancer, yet it includes very personal details about his own mother’s illness and death, which he and his father are not okay with.
For some context, his sister, Sally, and his brother-in-law, Bill, have two daughters, one of whom is Laura. Following his move to his wife’s country, they received news that his mom had cancer, and at first, her doctors thought it was localized and removed the tumor.
“We hoped she’d recover and, for a while, she was fine, but unfortunately, the cancer had already spread, and she went onto a course of very harsh treatment lasting years,” he recalled.
Around the same time, his niece Laura, who was in middle school, was diagnosed with a rare and tough-to-treat form of cancer. So, both his mother and Laura received cancer treatments simultaneously until his mother eventually passed away.
This was a particularly difficult time because, as his family was mourning, Laura’s doctors also gave her a frightening prognosis. In fact, they claimed her chance of survival was in the single digits.
Laura’s parents became “fierce advocates” and located a doctor who was willing to perform a risky operation on her. Amazingly, that doctor was able to remove her tumor, and despite Laura dealing with ongoing health problems, she’s been able to have a relatively normal childhood.
After the successful surgery, his family threw a big party to celebrate. His brother-in-law, Bill, also became extremely involved in cancer fundraising.
“Bill has thrown himself into fundraising for childhood cancers, bake sales, bingo, and even sponsored mountain climbs. He’s seeming to have done it all and has been given public recognition and awards for it,” he detailed.
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However, he’s since found out that Bill kept a journal while Laura was receiving treatment and has turned his writings into a book about their experiences. And he takes issue with that for a few different reasons.
First of all, there are factual inaccuracies, and the book paints his sister Sally, brother-in-law Bill, and Bill’s family in a “glowing light.” Yet, his side of the family is poorly portrayed or ignored.
The bigger problem, though, is that Bill actually included a lot of personal details about his own mother’s cancer and death. His father was given an unpublished copy of the book, too, and his father didn’t want any of those details shared with the public.
“My dad has struggled to read the copy that he was given, and the details of reliving his wife’s suffering and death bring him to tears,” he revealed.
“I also have a draft of the book, but I refuse to read it on principle that I don’t want to revisit this tragedy through the eyes of someone else.”
Apparently, his wife has already read parts of the book, and she claimed it was “gruelling” to read. Not to mention, he was supposedly portrayed unkindly by his brother-in-law.
Anyway, the reason why Bill and Sally gave a copy of the book to their father was to receive his blessing before publishing. But his father doesn’t feel comfortable giving it the green light as is and has asked for all the details about his mother’s death to be taken out.
He thinks this is perfectly reasonable as well, given how Laura’s story, which is supposed to be the book’s main focus, is extremely inspiring on its own. Not to mention, his niece has already received national media attention due to her recovery.
“We are not sure why my mother’s tragedy needs to be included this way and have told Bill and Sally so,” he said.
Well, for some reason, Bill and his publisher actually agreed on the book’s contents before it was shared with his family, so now, it’s not possible for any changes to be made. The only potential solution is that pseudonyms can be swapped out for certain names, which he doesn’t think is that helpful, given it’s a first-hand account by Bill, so it won’t be hard to figure out who the rest of his family members are.
As for his sister and brother-in-law themselves, Bill and Sally have both been unwilling to make any book changes and plan to publish even without his father’s approval. And since half of the proceeds are supposed to go to charity, Bill and Sally are accusing him and his father of not supporting their fundraising efforts.
That’s why there’s been a huge falling out in their family over the book. In fact, Sally is currently refusing to let his father see Laura and his other granddaughter over this.
“So not only has my father effectively lost his relationship with his daughter, but he’s also lost two granddaughters whom he dearly wants to have an ongoing relationship with and are not aware of the nature of the disagreement,” he explained.
Bill, on the other hand, has begun publicizing the book’s upcoming publication date all over social media. This has left his dad researching ways to stop the book from coming out, but given the unusual situation, he’s come to the conclusion that it would take expensive legal action, and that would still have a small chance of working.
Moreover, even if his father were somehow able to stop the book from going to print, he knows that it would end any relationship his father had with Sally, Bill, and their daughters.
He’s personally choosing to “take the high road” and has blocked his sister, with no intention of talking to Sally or Bill ever again. He lives far enough away from his family now that he’ll be “mostly unaffected,” and he doesn’t think it’s worth it to save their relationship.
But it’s heartbreaking for him to see his dad put in this situation, and he’s furious that his mother’s death is being used as fuel for his brother-in-law’s fundraising. That’s why he’s now not sure what his father should do.
“What advice would you give to my dad on how to deal with this seemingly impossible dilemma?” he asked.
“Stand firm against the book and lose his granddaughters, acquiesce against his principles and allow the most tragic details of his wife’s passing to be shared with the world, or some other option?”
Would you feel the same way in his father’s shoes? What do you think he should do?
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