7 Signs You Have A Codependent Mom, And How To Deal With It Gently
Codependent Moms Often Mean Well, But Are Overbearing
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Codependent moms might mean well, and their hearts are in the right places, but they have absolutely no boundaries.
They are truly a special breed. One minute they act like your best friend, and the next they’re guilt-tripping you left and right. This behavior can leave you feeling drained, confused, and like you’re carrying around way too much weight.
Here Are 7 Signs You Have A Codependent Mom, And How To Deal With It Gently
Moms who act like that are not necessarily bad people. In fact, they are often deeply loving, overly invested, and possibly struggling with their own identity. But that doesn’t mean you have to cater to her every need. Here are seven signs you have a codependent mom and how to deal with it gently and lovingly.
1. You Can’t Make Decisions Without Your Mom
It’s perfectly normal to discuss options with your mom and pick her brain for ideas. But it becomes a problem when you can’t make any decisions without her input.
It’s also an issue if you make your own choice, but your mom gets upset with you for not doing what she suggested.
2. You Only Listen To Your Mom
Most mothers hate to hear this, but they don’t always know best. As you grow up and develop relationships with people outside of your family unit, you’ll have the opportunity to consider other people’s opinions.
If you dismiss what everyone else says and default to whatever your mom thinks, that may be a sign of codependency.
3. You Tell Your Mom Everything
It’s nice to be close to your mom, but there’s no need to tell her every little detail about everything and everyone, especially if you’re violating someone’s request for privacy.
If you’re in a codependent relationship with your mom, you will often cross not only each other’s boundaries, but people outside of your relationship as well.
4. You Need Your Mom’s Approval
Wanting your mother’s approval is understandable, but you should not be trying to please her above all else. You are still worthy even if she does not approve of you. You are your own person and do not need external validation from others.
5. You Avoid Anything That Could Upset Your Mom
People who are in codependent relationships with their moms are often afraid to do anything that could upset them.
For example, you might pass on taking a weekend trip with your friends because you’re scared that mom will be annoyed about you being gone.
6. You Let Your Mom Sacrifice Herself Consistently
Your mom should not be constantly sacrificing her own well-being for your sake, especially when you become an adult.
For instance, she might cancel doctor’s appointments or social outings just to babysit for you. However, it’s important that she take care of herself first and foremost.
7. You Have A Poor Sense Of Self
Codependent mothers are often overly involved with their children. As a result, the children may not learn how to connect with themselves and have a poor sense of their own identity.
To break codependency, you must figure out who you are and what you want in life, not what your mother wants.
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