7 Signs Your Parents Destroyed Your Self-Worth
Not Everyone Grows Up With Amazing Parents
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. We all have different experiences with our parents as we are growing up.
For some people, their parents were their biggest cheerleaders, but for others, their parents let them down time and time again.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Parents Destroyed Your Self-Worth
Some of your biggest disappointments and insecurities stem from the way your parents treated you during your youth.
Maybe your parents thought they were motivating you, or maybe they were projecting their own issues. Either way, you are now left second-guessing your every move and downplaying your wins. Here are seven signs that your parents destroyed your self-worth.
1. Lack Of Praise
No matter how hard you work or how much you achieve, it still feels like it’s not enough. If this is you, your parents probably withheld praise from you growing up.
They never acknowledged your efforts and were quick to point out areas for improvement. As a result, you feel a need for approval and validation. Praise is necessary to develop a positive sense of self and to continue with good behavior.
2. Constant Criticism
Parents who criticize their children’s characteristics cause them to feel invalidated and unappreciated. Many parents feel threatened when their children are different from them.
These types of parents believe that if their children are just like them, with similar interests, abilities, and goals, their lives will be better. However, it’s important for children to develop their own personalities and voice. Just because they are different does not mean they need to be constantly criticized and corrected.
3. Absence During Key Moments
Every child has milestone events in life, whether it’s their first sports match, a graduation, or even their first heartbreak.
When a parent isn’t there for you during those key moments, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and abandonment. You may feel like you’re not worthy of attention and that you don’t matter.
4. Demanding Blind Obedience
Some parents think their word is the law, and it must be followed with unquestioning obedience. They act like they own their children and do not view their kids as independent individuals. They want kids they can easily control and feel threatened when their children want to do something in life that does not involve them.
If you were raised like this, you are probably timid and submissive. You might feel like nothing is in your control and that other people have more power than you. Parents should let their children have independence and freedom. At the same time, their authority should still be respected.
5. Planning Every Aspect Of Your Life
Parents who plan every aspect of their child’s life, from birth to career, are doing irreparable damage. They may think they’re helping, but what they’re actually doing is making their kids dependent on them and indecisive about even the simplest life choices.
6. Inconsistent Discipline
Discipline is necessary because it teaches kids right from wrong. But when discipline becomes inconsistent, it can be confusing.
Children won’t know what to expect. They might get scolded for something one day and then get ignored for the same thing the next day.
7. Basing Your Worth On GPA
Many parents measure their children’s worth on the amount of A’s they earn in school. So, whenever a child gets a B or C, they may feel like they’re not smart enough.
If a child believes they are stupid because they are a C student, they won’t achieve as much throughout life, even when they have great potential.
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