7 Signs Your Partner Is Neglecting You
Everyone Needs A Partner Capable Of Nurturing Them In Some Way
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. When you think of nurturing, the first bond that probably comes to mind is a parent and their child. But it’s arguably just as important to nurture your own significant other in a romantic relationship.
I’m not saying you have to literally take care of a partner as if they’re a kid. However, catering to your partner’s emotional needs and helping them feel seen, safe, and secure are paramount for maintaining a strong, fulfilling connection.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Neglecting You
So, what happens when your partner consistently fails to satisfy your needs? Whether they’re doing it intentionally or not, your partner’s reluctance to share their real self (and invite you to do the same) can create a lot of distance and, in turn, feelings of abandonment or insecurity. This is known as emotional neglect.
Ahead, we’re shedding light on seven key signs that your partner is neglecting you and destroying the bond you once shared in the process.
1. They Don’t Show Any Physical Affection
Physical affection isn’t the most important part of romantic relationships for everybody, but it can still be used as a solid gauge for need fulfillment, especially if you two used to be very affectionate at the start of your relationship.
Maybe your partner swept you off your feet in the beginning, and you always felt physically close to them. Emotional closeness probably came with this, too.
Then, as your relationship progressed, perhaps you and your partner stopped connecting on a deeper level. And eventually, the physical affection vanished as well. Such a decline can leave you feeling unloved or even insecure about why they’re suddenly not interested anymore.
2. Your Partner Refuses To Engage In Deeper Conversations
Life is never all just sunshine and rainbows, which is why partners can be amazing supporters. Of course, you get to enjoy the fun times with them, which is great, but you’re also able to lean on them in times of need and know they’ll be there for you.
If you’re being emotionally neglected, though, this may not be the case. Your partner might expect you to show up for them and provide a shoulder to cry on when they’re struggling. Then, when it comes to you, they write off your emotions or disappear altogether.
Additionally, some emotionally neglectful partners may actually refuse to participate in any conversations beyond the surface level, regardless of whether it has to do with their feelings or yours. Either way, partners need to be able to talk to each other about anything, and if you’re not encouraged to speak your mind, you will likely start to resent them.
3. You Frequently Ignore Your Own Emotions
Depending on how your partner responds when you get upset, angry, or stressed, you might’ve been inadvertently conditioned to suppress your own emotions, essentially neglecting yourself.
If they get frustrated when you try to talk about your feelings, for instance, it may seem easier to just bottle everything up and walk on eggshells to avoid sparking any drama.
Don’t let someone’s inability to be vulnerable or empathetic stifle your own truth. Ignoring your feelings won’t make them go away, and you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t push you to do that in the first place.
4. You Turn To Friends Or Family, Not Your Partner, When You Need Support
In my opinion, this is a telltale sign of someone who’s suffering emotional neglect in their relationship. Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely love my friends, and I turn to them for a lot of things. But it’s not because I feel like I can’t go to my partner.
On the contrary, I actually view my boyfriend as my best friend. And I’m never afraid or hesitant to say whatever’s on my mind since I know he won’t judge me or shut me down.
If you don’t feel the same way about your partner, it is a red flag, especially if you hope to one day get married and settle down. At that point, it will be you and your partner against the world, and you need to be with someone who actually has your back.
5. They Rarely Take An Interest In Your Life
I’ve yet to meet a couple who has everything in common, and I think that’s a good thing. Relationships can become pretty boring when you’re with someone who is an exact replica of yourself. Plus, you won’t get the opportunity to expand your horizons and learn or experience something new.
This learning process isn’t supposed to stop after the first few dates, either. Partners should continually show curiosity about each other’s lives, hobbies, and interests.
Maybe you’ve done that for your significant other, though, and they haven’t reciprocated. Do they frequently fail to ask about your career or personal projects, engage in any activities that make you happy, or simply seem like they care about your interests? If so, you’re not getting the emotional respect and fulfillment you deserve, and it’ll be impossible to grow with your partner.
6. Gratitude Is Seldom Shown
No matter what kind of struggles you have going on in your life, from relocations to job changes and even the loss of loved ones, gratitude can go a long way. At the end of the day, it’s the “little things” in life that remind us how much we have to be thankful for.
Even so, your partner may never express their appreciation for all the ways you enhance their life. When was the last time they genuinely said “thank you” when you cooked them dinner, took a chore off their plate, or just showed up for them in any way?
Gratitude is the glue that keeps relationships strong, even in the midst of challenges, and without it, we can quickly feel emotionally disregarded.
7. Your Lives No Longer Feel Intertwined
Finally, the biggest sign that your partner has been neglecting you is when you feel as if you two are leading separate lives. Communication is sparse or nonexistent, there’s no longer quality time spent together, and you aren’t working toward any shared goals.
In this scenario, it’s easy to feel like you two have become more like roommates instead of romantic partners. And it makes sense because you aren’t receiving any of the emotional validation and nourishment that comes from a relationship beyond the platonic level.
Of course, every single person has a different set of emotional needs, and some couples happily lead more independent lives. But if the distance is causing you to feel alone in your own relationship, it’s time to make a change.
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