7 Signs Your Partner Is Volatile
Your Partner’s Level Of Emotional Stability Should Be A Deal-Breaker
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Too often, people fall into the trap of picking partners based on more superficial qualities. But in my opinion, it’s not someone’s height, income, interests, or background that should be a deal-breaker–it’s their level of emotional stability.
Back when you were a teenager, you might’ve fallen head over heels for an erratic or “rebellious” person because they were unpredictable and intense, and the mystery (and excitement) of it all kept you hooked.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Volatile
But forming a real, lasting relationship with someone so unstable can be incredibly tough. And when things start going wrong, your partnership has the potential to turn explosive.
Whether you already knew your significant other had a flair for the dramatic or you’re just starting to see this new side of them, here are seven signs your partner is volatile. Recognizing the red flags is key for deciding if their behavior is something that can be worked on or if you should just walk away.
1. They Spark Arguments Over Little Things
Life is all about picking your battles, but a volatile partner usually doesn’t know how to do that. They might struggle with their anger and, as a result, overreact to minor issues that could’ve either been overlooked or handled with a calm, direct conversation.
If you and your significant other are fighting more than you’re genuinely talking, it’s a big problem. And it paints a frightening picture of how they’ll handle future challenges that are actually considered “major.”
2. Your Partner Cannot Compromise
Relationships require compromise, period. When you bring two people together in any way, whether it be professionally, platonically, or romantically, there will have to be some level of give and take.
Yet, when you’re dating a volatile partner, you might feel as if your needs are constantly brushed aside in favor of theirs.
They want what they want when they want it. And if they have a history of blowing up whenever they don’t get their way, you may even allow it and walk on eggshells just to avoid any extra conflict.
3. They Act Out Instead Of Getting Vulnerable
Everyone experiences unpleasant emotions and mood swings from time to time, and we don’t all use the best coping mechanisms. Nonetheless, there’s a difference between drowning your sorrows in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and going totally off the rails whenever you get upset.
Your partner is supposed to be willing to turn to you, talk to you, and lean on you for support when they’re hurt, discouraged, agitated, or just plain struggling.
So, if your significant other instead goes out and engages in erratic or unsafe behavior (or even takes their frustration out on you with big outbursts), that’s not fair, healthy, or sustainable.
4. Your Partner Exhibits Controlling Behavior
When someone feels out of control in some aspect of their life, their first instinct is usually to try to control something else. In volatile relationships, that “something” could sadly be you.
Perhaps your partner’s emotional instability has begun affecting their career, outside relationships, or just their mental health in general. And if they’re struggling to get a grip, they might attempt to manipulate or exert power over what you do.
5. They Gaslight You
Have you noticed your partner has a streak of questionable behavior and tried bringing it up to them? How did they respond?
Volatile partners will frequently use gaslighting to, again, control the situation and avoid taking accountability. This could range from dismissing your feelings to accusing you of overreacting or even flat-out denying that something happened at all, despite you remembering it clearly.
As a result, you’re left questioning your perspective on reality while your partner is able to continue acting unpredictably.
6. Your Partner Love-Bombs You One Day And Is Gone The Next
One common form of this unpredictable behavior in volatile relationships is the love-bombing and ghosting act. For a couple of days or weeks, your partner might shower you with affection, compliments, and acts of service just to win your approval and attention.
Then, when things get tough, they disappear and abandon you. Or, when they become angry, they rely on the silent treatment and emotional withdrawal to “punish” you. There’s nothing more unstable than an inconsistent partner.
7. They Have A History Of Tumultuous Relationships
Finally, have you ever heard your partner talk about their past relationships? Do they have a track record of so-called “crazy” exes or a lot of falling outs with friends or family that (conveniently) were never their fault?
It’s common for volatile people to struggle to maintain healthy relationships in all areas of their lives, not just romantic ones.
That’s why you can use their history as a guide to determine whether this might be a one-off situation or a problem that’s more deeply rooted.
More About:Advice