7 Signs Your Partner Is Wasting Your Time
Often, We Stay In Toxic Relationships Because They Fill A Void
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. As humans, we all crave companionship, yet we also come with our own sets of baggage. That’s why it’s not uncommon for people to end up (and stay) in toxic relationships that seemingly fill a void.
It’s easier to overlook red flags when you are struggling with your own fears or attachment styles. For instance, you might be afraid of abandonment due to childhood experiences, so you stick around, even when someone is mistreating you. Or, you may be codependent and, again, leaving feels scarier than continuing to cling to your relationship.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Wasting Your Time
However, there comes a point when we must face the music and realize that remaining in an unhealthy partnership will only do more harm than good in the long run. And this starts with some self-awareness.
So, here are seven signs that your partner is wasting your time, and you should probably start moving on.
1. You’re Always Putting In More Effort
Relationships are supposed to be balanced, with both people reaping just as much as they sow. But sadly, that’s not always the case.
When couples first start seeing each other, the thrill and excitement of something “new” is usually enough to get both individuals interested and engaged. Perhaps there were a lot of texts, calls, outings, and even promises.
Then, as the novelty dies down, there’s sometimes a shift, with one person increasingly taking on more and more of the effort it takes to keep a connection afloat. Don’t fall victim to this trap. Someone who really cares about you will continue to pull their weight, not tap out once you’re no longer shiny and brand-new anymore.
2. Meanwhile, They Play Hard To Get
Similarly, you might’ve noticed that your partner began running hot or cold based on the day. One minute, they might act totally into you, but the next, they’re withdrawn, aloof, and making you chase them.
I know that rom-coms may make it seem like playing “hard to get” is a good relationship strategy. Yet, in reality, it just leaves the other person feeling confused and undervalued.
So, a person who can so easily pick and choose when they want to show their care for you is likely just wasting your time. They could view you as a “convenient” option when they decide to get back on the relationship bandwagon. Or, they might just have issues committing, and their behavior reflects that indecisiveness.
3. You Have Different Values And Life Goals
A relationship built between two people who have fundamentally different values or life goals isn’t one that can last without, at the very least, a decent dose of compromise.
However, in most cases, these partnerships still don’t work out because the compromises can cause one or both people to harbor resentment.
That’s why such differences are a telltale sign someone is wasting your time. If you know that you two are never going to agree on things like where to settle down, whether you’re going to tie the knot, or if you ever want to start a family, then how can the relationship last happily?
4. They Don’t Show Up For You
It’s easy to “talk the talk,” but it takes true dedication to “walk the walk.” When you and your partner first started dating, they might’ve claimed they’d be there for you. Nonetheless, when push comes to shove, and you really need them, they’re nowhere to be found.
Whether it’s when you’re home from work sick, have an important milestone event to attend, or have just planned an outing together, your partner may decline to show up or cancel on you.
It’s impossible to build a life with someone who’s fickle, and if you try to anyway, you’ll probably wind up feeling abandoned more often than not.
5. Your Partner Won’t Commit
Another telltale sign that someone’s wasting your time is a refusal to commit. All relationships take similar progression steps, like going on a few first dates and meeting friends or family. Then, it’s natural to want to define your relationship and perhaps become exclusive.
Your partner, on the other hand, might have loads of excuses. They could claim they just want something “casual,” don’t like “labels,” or aren’t ready to get into a long-term relationship. Take what they’re saying at face value and leave, particularly if you’re looking for something serious.
Don’t try to change their mind or pin your hopes on the fact that they might come around someday in the future. When we fall in love with potential, we usually end up disappointed.
6. There’s No Growth In Your Relationship
Just like a lack of commitment, no personal or joint growth in a relationship is also a red flag. The best relationships are formed when two whole individuals come together, giving equal effort to their partnership and growing alongside their significant other.
Nonetheless, you might feel like the exact same person you were when you started seeing your partner. Maybe they don’t encourage you to better yourself or want to improve themselves, either. So, you’ve both remained stagnant, even after months or a year.
If you want more out of a romantic relationship (and yourself), you have to be with someone who’s willing to evolve. Otherwise, you will waste your time staying in your current relationship.
7. You’re Getting Emotional Whiplash
Finally, do you ever feel like you’re stuck on an emotional rollercoaster in your own relationship? Maybe communication has broken down, your boundaries are disrespected, or you’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid starting another fight.
There are plenty of toxic patterns that plague countless relationships and rip away your sense of safety and security. But stability is the true mark of a partnership that’ll last.
If you frequently feel like you’re just dealing with issue after issue instead of enjoying your relationship and moving it forward, you might be wasting your time with someone who isn’t compatible or flat-out healthy for you.
More About:Advice