The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is not always a bad thing. But, once you encounter people who don’t appreciate your care, you have to stop giving them your love.
Quit having the same difficult conversations with people who refuse to change and grow. Say no and stop showing up for family members, friends, or a partner who doesn’t care about your presence. And finish prioritizing people who just treat you like an option.
They are not deserving of your time, energy, and heart.
If you are a people pleaser, or even just someone who loves incredibly hard, this can be a seriously tough pill to swallow. Your instincts might be telling you to do everything in your power to win someone back, earn approval, or get some semblance of reciprocation.
With this thought process, though, you will just rob yourself of your energy, time, and mental peace.
Instead, you have to accept two truths of life. First, not everyone is “for you,” and you are not “for everyone.” This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or other people in your circle. Rather, it’s just a fact that has to be taken into consideration– especially when you are giving your all to a person who is not showing up for you.
The second truth is that even if you and another person are “for each other,” they may not be ready to give their love and care to you. Perhaps your friend is in a different stage of life, or your emotionally unavailable partner is still working through some past trauma.
There are countless reasons why someone may not be ready to love you. But whatever the circumstances may be, they all boil down to one indisputable truth– if someone is not reciprocating, you have to let them go.
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