His Wife Is No Longer A Stay-At-Home Mom, So He Told Her Staying Home Isn’t A Free Pass To Do Nothing And He Wants Her To Go Back To Work

Pixel-Shot - stock.adobe.com-  illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Pixel-Shot - stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

Two years ago, this man and his wife welcomed their first child– a baby girl– into the world. At the time, they both agreed that his wife– who was a software engineer– becoming a stay-at-home mom would be worth it. After all, he was able to sustain their family on just his income anyway.

So, they went through with it. But about a year later, he realized that his wife had become pretty overwhelmed and asked how he could help her out.

His wife did claim to be fine, although that didn’t stop him from looking at childcare options in their area and pricing them out. He also spoke to friends, loved ones, and coworkers to gather recommendations and resources.

It was at that point that his boss informed him his job came with childcare benefits. He was obviously thrilled about that and immediately started the paperwork.

Once the childcare was approved by his company, he was put on a daycare waitlist. He then told his wife, and they toured the place with their daughter– who absolutely loved it.

“About four months later, a spot opened up, and our daughter is now in daycare. It is run in the same office building I work at, so it is super convenient,” he explained.

“I drop her off when I head to work and pick her up when I leave. Perfect!”

Since his daughter headed off to daycare four months ago, though, a new issue has started at home. Apparently, his wife has not been “doing anything.”

Yes, they do split the household chores evenly– which is completely fine with him. But, aside from chores, he doesn’t think his wife has done much with her day ever since their daughter went off to daycare.

Pixel-Shot – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

He claimed to understand that such a transition takes some adjustment time. However, their initial agreement was still for his wife to be a stay-at-home.

“But with our daughter in daycare, not being rude, staying home to be a mom is not happening,” he said.

“So I brought up the million-dollar question, ‘When are you going back to work?'”

After he asked his wife that, she reportedly gave him a “glare of death” before trying to change the topic. Still, he interjected and claimed he wasn’t trying to push his wife. He also claimed that, right now, his wife had no excuse not to have a job.

This comment caused his wife to blow up completely on him. Thankfully, their daughter was at his parents’ house at the time, so none of their screamings was overheard.

But according to him, his wife just went back and forth, “using classic lines” to defend her side. She also mainly said that good husbands provide the option for their wives to stay at home or not.

“And I said if you want to be here, then either watch our daughter or do the housework. Your being home is not a free pass to do nothing,” he recalled.

After that, his wife pointed out how a bunch of his coworkers’ wives do exactly that– stay home and do nothing. He agreed with his wife, too, but not before adding a remark. He claimed that the rest of his coworkers had also cheated on their wives, so he asked if his wife wanted him to do that, too.

Now, he swears that the cheating comment was not supposed to be a threat. He simply said that because it was true, and he wanted his wife to see how his coworkers’ marital situations were much different than their own marriage.

“They have found it more beneficial to stay together from the wives’ side. We live in a state where spousal support has caps, and it does not matter how many years you were married before,” he detailed.

“Husbands stick around because the status quo is easier, and [the comment] was just to state that that is not the life she thinks it is.”

Still, his wife has been upset with him ever since he sparked this tough conversation. So now, he’s been left wondering whether telling his wife that she no longer has an excuse not to be working made him a real jerk or not.

Do you agree that if his wife isn’t going to be a stay-at-home mom, then she should go back to work? Even so, did he approach this situation in the right way? Did he take it too far by throwing in the cheating comment, no matter how it was intended?

You can read the original post on Reddit here.

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Katharina Buczek graduated from Stony Brook University with a degree in Journalism and a minor in Digital Arts. Specializing ... More about Katharina Buczek

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