Her Husband Told Her He’s Giving Her ‘One Last Chance’ To Make An Effort, And He Already Feels Like He’s Only Married To Her For The Sake of Their Kids
This 31-year-old woman and her 34-year-old husband have been really struggling in their marriage lately.
Part of this is due to the fact that they experienced four pregnancy losses in a row, and then they went on to have two children consecutively.
Their children are now 16 and 2-months-old, but during both of her pregnancies, she had pre-eclampsia, and she had to take a medical leave from work.
She works as a nurse, whereas her husband is a stay-at-home dad.
“Things have been hard. During my bout of pre-eclampsia, my husband let me know that our relationship wasn’t living up to his expectations,” she explained.
“His complaints were related to intimacy, lack of common interests, and lack of stimulating conversation that isn’t related to our kids.”
“I told him that I wasn’t in a place where I could really address these issues, and I wouldn’t be until my hormones were adjusted post-partum and I had the headspace to concentrate on something other than surviving the birth and newborn phase. We’re now ten weeks post-partum, and he’s accused me of being “checked out.”
More recently, they have been having a ton of problems simply communicating with one another, even regarding small things.
For example, if she doesn’t answer her husband directly when he asks her a question, he gets irritated.
Fabio – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Or when she can’t be decisive about what she wants for dinner, that upsets him. They’re not as physically close as they used to be, which weighs on her husband, too.
She also is aware that her husband thinks that the “quality” of their conversations is lacking, and anytime he catches her scrolling through her phone instead of trying to interact with him, he doesn’t like that.
She knows she’s out of touch, and it’s so bad that she’s having problems with sensory issues and different textures.
She’s completely and utterly run down. Her maternity leave is over in two days, but she’s going to have to work eight shifts back to back to make up for all the money they lost with her being out of work for a little more than three months.
She has nothing left to give, and she’s giving it her all. She and her husband have both brought up potentially getting divorced multiple times within the last six months.
“Earlier today, my husband told me that he’s tired of my lack of effort and he’s going to give our relationship “one last chance” and told me that he’s really only in this for the kids,” she said.
“I now feel like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wasn’t checked out before, but now I feel like I have to be emotionally disconnected to save my heart from feeling the inevitable.”
“I keep telling him that what we’re doing right now is hard and this “roommate phase” isn’t abnormal. I just don’t know how to survive this.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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