Her Partner’s Ex Is Absolutely Awful, But Now That She Needs Her To Basically Babysit Their Kids, She Said No
For the last five years, this woman and her partner have been in a relationship.
Her partner has two children that she deeply cares about and gets along great with.
Their relationship has been stable and healthy, and her partner has joint custody of his children with his ex.
Unfortunately, her partner’s ex is dramatic and constantly causes issues.
When she and her partner first started dating, she was understanding of his situation with his ex and their joint custody. She suggested the idea of meeting his ex to introduce herself and let her know that she is a reliable person so that his ex would hopefully feel comfortable that she would be spending time with her children.
“She instead chose to attack me with dozens of hateful emails, tried to get me fired from my workplace, falsely claimed she had a restraining order against me if I was ever in the same space as her (this was a lie), has called the cops based on ridiculous claims, and spread awful rumors about me on social media,” she said.
His ex’s behavior continued for the first three years of her relationship with him, but after that, it finally started to lessen.
However, throughout the last year, scheduling conflicts have started popping up, and her partner was often at work when he and his ex were supposed to be picking up or dropping off their children with one another. To avoid issues, she offered to pick up his children for him while he was still working. These inconvenient changes to her partner’s schedule were only supposed to last for about a month.
“Every week that I showed up to pick up the kids, the ex would show up with the kids, see me, and then drive away. She would then barrage my significant other with texts stating she refused to let the kids go with me while he was working and they have no need to be around me if he wasn’t going to be there,” she explained.
ID 121632848 – © Benzoix – Dreamstime.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Due to feeling bullied by her partner’s ex, she has seen a therapist to work through the pain that she experienced. She and her therapist came up with some helpful strategies for her to try to set some limitations.
She told her partner that she no longer wanted him to think that she could have any sort of connection with his ex, and she would no longer be doing anything to help out his ex in relation to their children.
Her partner appreciated her perspective and agreed to the line she drew to protect her emotional health.
Usually, her partner’s children are with them from Sunday through Wednesday, and then his ex has custody from Wednesday through Sunday.
Recently, his ex asked him if they could switch their custody days with each other. But this wouldn’t work for her partner because he specifically scheduled his days off work to be when he has custody of his children (he does work on Sundays, but she watches his children for him, which she has no issue with), so on the days that his ex currently has custody, he works all day long.
With the custody schedule changes that her partner’s ex asked for, by the time his children would be done with school, he’d already be heading to work, and once he got home, his children would be asleep.
Because of this, she would be the one watching her partner’s children for the entire four days that he has custody, besides when he can be there to drop his children off at school each morning.
“My significant other asked me if we could accommodate his ex’s schedule change request, and I said no. Especially after she threw tantrums about how she didn’t want the kids with just me while my significant other was at work. He seemed to have accepted it at first, but a few hours later expressed he would like it if the kids could stay with us,” she shared.
She told him that the only time he’d even be able to see his children on this new custody schedule would be when he dropped off his children at school in the morning. But he said that he still thought it would be beneficial for his children to spend time with her.
This turned into a fight, and now she feels like he views her as the bad guy who is preventing him from spending time with his children.
Also, she is in school full-time to become a nurse, and she studies a lot during the week. Throughout the relationship with her partner, she has done her best to balance studying as well as hanging out with her partner and his children when he has custody.
Over the years, she has spent time getting to know his children and developing a relationship with them when she took care of them while her partner was working.
On her partner’s custody days, her homework has always taken a backseat. She wants to prioritize the time that she needs to set aside for studying, and she doesn’t want to do any favors for her partner’s ex.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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