His Daughters Are Sad That He Hired A Nanny To Care For Them, Even Though His New Wife Doesn’t Work
This 45-year-old man is married to Alicia, 29. He has two daughters from his previous marriage, who are 10 and 8.
Tragically, his first wife, his children’s mother, passed away two years ago from mesothelioma, a rare cancer.
Everything happened so quickly, and she was diagnosed only four months before she passed away.
“The hospital that had treated my late wife offered grief support groups that specialized in helping kids deal with their grief,” he said.
“I decided to take my kids to the support groups. Alicia was working in the gift shop of the hospital, so we’d pass each other regularly.”
“My kids were also getting private sessions with a social worker, so I’d sit in the coffee shop and could see Alicia from there. One day, I struck up a conversation.”
Eventually, he and Alicia started dating, and they got married six months ago. When he and his late wife got married, they struggled financially, and he could have never envisioned being in a position where he could afford to hire a nanny or even need one. However, he is more financially stable now.
In his marriage with Alicia, he appreciates how kind she is and how she has helped him to get out of his comfort zone and talk with people again. She also often buys him meaningful presents and makes him feel loved.
However, Alicia has had a difficult time getting accustomed to her role as a stepmother to his children.
Phase4Photography – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
She has voiced her surprise at how much exhaustive work, without a thank you, is involved with parenting.
Alicia’s mother did most of the housework when she was a child, and she was never taught how to cook, and he doesn’t know how either.
“She didn’t drive much, so the thought of carpool lanes makes her want to tear her hair out. Kids can be fickle,” he explained.
“Alicia ordered pasta for them once, and my older daughter asked if she could make it like her mom did, and that really set everything off on the wrong foot.”
“The final straw was when my younger daughter got sick. My wife and I were scrambling because neither of us knew how to make the special soup my daughter wanted, and Alicia had never cared for a sick person other than me, and I just grin and bear it.”
In the end, he had Alicia go to a hotel to stay until his daughter was feeling better. He didn’t want Alicia to get sick, and he knew that if she got sick, so would he.
“I realized this was a toxic situation and that I did not marry my wife because I needed a cook or a maid,” he shared.
“I did not need her to be what my first wife was. After that, I told the girls we would be hiring a nanny. We were already outsourcing cleaning, so the nanny agreed to take care of the kids and cook meals.”
“My daughters were upset, and even though the nanny we hired was the sweetest older woman, they asked why Alicia isn’t taking them shopping or watching TV with them.”
Now that the new school year has begun, his children have already gotten colds from other students.
The nanny was supposed to have time off, but Alicia said she was going to see if the nanny could come over to watch the children because “this was her area of expertise.”
Unfortunately, his older daughter overheard this and was mad, saying that she didn’t need to have a nanny.
He asked his daughter if the nanny was unkind, and she said no. Then, Alicia grew angry with his daughter and said to her that she needed to respect the adults in her life. This made his daughter cry in response.
In his view, his children should be “kinder” and more receptive to the idea of having a nanny. He makes sure to watch the nanny cams that he has in his home, and he’s never seen any concerning behavior from the nanny.
For him and Alicia, hiring the nanny has taken a lot off of their shoulders, and they both have felt a lot less overwhelmed.
Alicia now apparently “doesn’t feel like she’s being forced into a home economics class where it’s all about what she’s doing wrong.”
He and Alicia clearly were struggling because they didn’t know his late wife’s recipes and couldn’t do housework the way she could.
Do you think he was wrong to hire a nanny, especially since Alicia doesn’t work?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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