If You Just Went Out On An Awful Date, Don’t Replay It In Your Head For Days Afterward, And Instead, Focus On Remaining Positive
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Abby Connolly.
Have you been going on dates recently? If you have, good for you! While it may be exhausting and uncomfortable at times, it’s the best way to get yourself out there and find a romantic partner that’s right for you.
Unfortunately, every once in a while, we go on a bad date. Whether it was due to your date or some embarrassing moments on your end, once you get home from a bad date, it can be hard to shake it off.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s replayed a bad date over in her head days afterward and can’t get over it for a while. However, it’s really important to try and stay positive. After all, one bad date isn’t going to define the rest of your time in the dating world!
So, here are some tips on how to stay positive after going on a failed date.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Sometimes, after going on a bad date, we spiral into a sort of existential crisis about how we need to find ‘the one,’ and that maybe after the bad date, we let them slip away.
But here’s the thing – when you put so much pressure on yourself to find the perfect person while dating and go into every single date thinking you’re about to meet your life partner, you’re bound to be disappointed the second anything goes wrong. Stop putting pressure on your dates, and remember that one bad date is not that big of a deal.
Take note of what went wrong.
DC Studio – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Sitting down and reflecting on what went wrong during the date is not a bad idea. Even better, it would help if you wrote it down. Think about what this person did that made you uncomfortable and what made you realize it wasn’t going to work out.
Reflecting and writing down a few notes from your date will help remind you what kind of people and personalities you’re really into and can help you weed out future bad dates.
Focus on your other relationships.
If a really bad date has you shaken up, then it might be a good idea to connect with and feel grateful for the actual solid relationships you have in your life. Instead of immediately trying to go on a new date, call up your best friend and go out to dinner with them. You don’t even have to talk about your date if you don’t want to!
Spending time with and practicing gratitude for the people you already have in your life and who love you can really help ease the blow of a bad date.
Don’t lose your confidence.
It’s important to enter and leave every date, good or bad, with confidence. Remember that you’re a catch and in control of your dating life. So what if you didn’t connect with that person? It doesn’t mean you’re not still worthy of someone who makes you happy. Shake off the bad date and remember that you’re no less of a catch than you were when you walked into the date.
Own your actions
It can be really easy to replay a bad date in your mind and wish you could rephrase everything you said. But spending time trying to change the past wastes time in the end. On your date, there was most likely nothing you did or said wrong. Simply own your actions and let the date go.
Don’t let it hold you back.
It can be easy to fall into a pit of self-doubt and fear after a bad date. Suddenly, you may be too scared to go on a new one, fearing it’ll go south. That’s a classic example of letting the past hold you back.
Don’t let that bad date ruin your chances of going on a much better one. The best part about moving on to date someone new is that they have no idea what happened during your bad date, and it’s a fresh start. Don’t let one bad experience dictate your future. Enjoy yourself and have fun!
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