She Doesn’t Want Her Boyfriend’s Daughters In Her Apartment, Since She’s Childfree, So She Dumped Him Over This
Four years ago, at a party, this 38-year-old woman met her boyfriend, 36. Right away, they got along great.
“I told him very early on that I’m childfree because I know this is a turn-off for many men, and I don’t want to lead anybody on,” she said.
A month later, her boyfriend broke the news to her that he had two daughters (who are 11 and 12 now).
Understandably, she was upset that he’d kept this information from her, knowing that she didn’t want kids.
She was conflicted because she had strong feelings for her boyfriend, but she didn’t want to play a stepmother role in his daughters’ lives.
When she expressed this to her boyfriend, he assured her that she wouldn’t have to worry about that because he had shared custody with his ex, and they could plan to hang out on the weeks when he didn’t have custody.
She agreed to this, and currently, he stays at her place during the weeks he doesn’t have custody of his daughters. They confessed their love for each other early on in their relationship, and everything has gone smoothly for them up until now. Plus, they planned ahead of time that they would end their relationship as soon as they were no longer happy.
“I could see myself with him forever. I love him to bits. I love our life together. I love missing him when he’s with his family. He proposed to me a month ago, and I didn’t know what he meant, but he said that we didn’t need to get married; he just wanted me to have a ring. I thought it was romantic,” she explained.
The following week, her boyfriend’s ex was ill, and he didn’t want his daughters to get sick, too, so he brought them over to her apartment for the weekend. Before he suggested this, she asked him if he’d rather spend the weekend at his place with his daughters, but he said that he’d be sad not seeing her since it was normally the days that they’d spend together, so she agreed.
BGStock72 – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Over the years, she’d met his daughters a few times, and they’re very sweet girls. She didn’t mind them spending the weekend at her place, but she just felt a bit uneasy since she hadn’t been around them too much.
“Last week, I got home, and he had dropped his girls in my apartment. They were in my closet, trying on my heels and clothes. I was freaking out, so I called him. He said, ‘Yeah, change of plans.’ He and his ex switched, so the girls are staying with us. When he got home, I told him I couldn’t do this,” she shared.
She could accept that her boyfriend may have changed his mind about their schedule of only seeing each other during the weeks that he didn’t have custody, but she hadn’t changed her mind about not wanting children to be at her apartment.
During their argument, her boyfriend called her a jerk and said that his daughters didn’t do anything wrong and were well-mannered.
He said that he loved her and reminded her of their engagement. He questioned whether she wanted to continue to keep their lives separate despite the fact that they were in love and had been together for four years.
She is fed up with men who don’t take her seriously when she expresses that she doesn’t want to have children.
Even though her boyfriend does have children of his own, she had hoped that down the line, when his daughters were older and living on their own, maybe she and her boyfriend could move in together and possibly get married.
And while she still has love for him, she doesn’t think she’s wrong for feeling the way that she does. Sure, their relationship is untraditional, but she doesn’t think this diminishes their relationship in any way.
After their discussion, she and her boyfriend decided to break up. They are both crushed, and she is hurt that they are ending a four-year relationship while they still deeply love each other.
But she doesn’t want her boyfriend to be saddened by the fact that she doesn’t want his children to stay with them at her apartment more often.
Her boyfriend asked her if they could take a temporary break or stay in touch with each other if they do end the relationship, but she doesn’t think that either of these is a good idea.
In her view, it’s better in the long run for them to cut off contact with one another so they can both grieve the breakup separately and then move forward with their lives.
Do you think she was wrong to tell her boyfriend that she didn’t want his daughters to stay at her apartment?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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