She Threatened To Leave Her Boyfriend Unless He Gets His Life Together Since She’s Sick Of Being The Sole Financial Provider For Over A Decade
This 30-year-old woman and her boyfriend, 34, have been dating for the last 11 years. They met when she was 19 and he was 23, and at that time, neither of them had secure jobs. Plus, neither of them had a lot of money.
Over the first five years of their relationship, she worked two jobs while putting herself through college. Throughout the same time period, her boyfriend worked a couple of jobs, but he was laid off from both of them. He eventually earned an associate degree. She did everything she could for her boyfriend, and she was the breadwinner for the two of them for the entirety of their relationship.
“Last year, I got tired of just paying for everything and giving him money, so I told him he needed to get a job to at least support himself so we could finally have some balance in our relationship. He got a job after a lot of arguments. I helped him buy a car when he started working,” she said.
Unfortunately, her boyfriend was laid off after working at this new job for only nine months. After that, he ordered her to financially support him once again. Ever since, they’ve been fighting a lot, and her boyfriend has been name-calling and insulting her. While fighting, he told her she was a self-centered brat and claimed that he spent the last 11 years with her, only to end up with nothing.
This statement confused her because she had been the breadwinner for the entire time they’d been dating, and she’d provided for him and given him money all these years. Her boyfriend could have used the money she gave him wisely or saved it, but he chose not to. In addition, he never helped her pay any of their monthly expenses.
“I told him that I had never agreed to be the sole provider in this relationship. We have always talked about him needing some form of income. And I can no longer be patient and understanding. He also said I’m supposed to help him since he has stayed with me for so long, and he has ‘allowed’ me to go to college and work long hours,” she explained.
The reason she worked a grueling schedule was to work her way up in her chosen field, and before she finished college, she needed to work two jobs because she was the only one in the relationship bringing in an income. Understandably, her boyfriend’s arguments infuriated her.
On the other hand, she didn’t want to be the partner who constantly reminded the other person in the relationship of how much they’ve provided for them as a means of guilt-tripping. So, she started to feel bad.
When they’ve had these discussions, her boyfriend has also argued that because her parents have money that they’ve been able to occasionally give her when needed, he is entitled to her money, and she should feel obligated to provide for him.
wavebreak3 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
However, her parents aren’t wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. They both worked as much as possible for what they had and only stopped working when they reached their country’s age of retirement, which is 66.
She clarified that her parents never gave her handouts all the time, but she was grateful that they let her live in their house while she was in college and they didn’t make her pay rent. This allowed her the opportunity to save up so that she could move out on her own, start her career, and gain independence.
“Today, I gave him the ultimatum that he either figures out his life or I’m done with him. He threatened to send me to court because since we have been together for so long, he deserves financial support. I told him to go take a hike. He says I’m a bad person and a money-hungry brat, she shared.
She is deeply upset and exhausted after dealing with her boyfriend’s disrespect for so many years. Since she hasn’t reached her financial goals, she is even more frustrated with the fact that she can’t save up while providing for herself and her boyfriend. Now, she doesn’t want to keep dating her boyfriend anymore.
Looking toward the future, she ideally wants to be with a man who supports her and cares for her, and she is thinking about possibly having children one day.
She hasn’t decided yet if she’ll break up with her boyfriend, and she’s wondering if it would be wrong of her to dump him after they’ve been together for over a decade.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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