If your parents got divorced because your dad cheated on your mom, and now your dad’s having a baby with his mistress at the age of 50, how would you feel?
This 20-year-old girl is currently in college, and she has a 17-year-old brother who will be graduating from high school shortly. Her mom and dad got divorced when she was 13, and her dad quickly got remarried.
“It’s a long story, but basically my dad cheated on my mom with his current wife around 8 years ago (…yeah), and my mom very much isn’t over it,” she explained.
“Throughout my adolescence, she wanted us to have minimal contact with our dad, and while we didn’t really see him that much, it still created a lot of conflict with her when we did, etc.”
“I still don’t really like to bring him up around her, or the fact that I am on speaking terms with my stepmom, because she freaks out and gets really passive-aggressive with me.”
She does feel guilty, but her dad pays for her college education and her rent, and she can’t exactly cut him off or make him mad at her. Also, her dad and his mistress are a package deal, so she can’t quit speaking to this woman either.
Anyway, her dad just announced that his mistress is five months pregnant and having a baby girl. It makes her feel terrible to admit this, but she’s not excited about the baby at all.
Her dad is 50, and his mistress is in her early 40s. She thinks this baby is going to have a tough time growing up with half-siblings who are basically 20 years older than she is. Her dad and his mistress will be retired by the time this kit hits grade school.
“My relationship with this eventual half-sibling is going to be incredibly tense, because I can’t be close with her if I still want to be on my mom’s good side, and I’m certain my brother feels the same way,” she continued.
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“It’s just going to make everything super weird, and I can’t imagine this poor girl will be unaffected. My dad also says he ‘didn’t particularly want a child,’ and only made this decision because my stepmom wanted a baby before menopause (but they still make good money and are probably going to be decent parents).”
“I just can’t help but feel they’re being selfish and irresponsible. I feel so guilty for this, but I found myself hoping they had [terminated] or never conceived in the first place.”
Yes, it was horrible of her dad to cheat on her mom, and I understand why her mom is still bitter, but she doesn’t need to let her mom drive a wedge between her baby half-sister.
She’s an adult, and she doesn’t have to tell her mom she’s spending time with the baby or anything like that. She shouldn’t let her mom ruin her ability to have a bond with her dad’s new baby.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
