Her Boyfriend Wants Her To Help Pay Child Support On His Kid
For the last three and a half years, this 33-year-old woman has been dating her 34-year-old boyfriend, and she lived with him for over a year.
She actually moved out not too long ago because she didn’t think they were going forward, and they had too many ups and then downs.
She found a new apartment to move into and was on the verge of cutting her boyfriend out of her life when it dawned on her that she’s truly in love with him and wants to make it work.
She’s been going to therapy for years, and her boyfriend just started going on his own, too, in an effort to help fix their relationship.
They even did a few sessions with a therapist together in order to work through their communication and learn how to argue in a healthy way.
Currently, her boyfriend is saying that he would like her to move back into his place when the lease is up with her apartment.
Her boyfriend works as an electrician and makes double what she earns every year, but that doesn’t include all of the side jobs he takes on.
Her boyfriend does have some credit card debt that he’s planning on paying off within the next three years.
“If I moved back, I would be commuting 2 hours each way, twice a week, to get into work, which is roughly $150/month,” she explained.
BullRun – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“$120 of that is covered by my work but is taxed, so I don’t get the full amount back. I have student loan debt and credit card debt that I am paying down, but the credit card debt won’t be wiped for 5 years, and the student loans will be decades.”
“He was grandfathered into his rent and pays $888 for a two-bedroom with all the utilities included. We share the car insurance, internet, groceries and maintenance of the car. As well, I have a dog and cat that I pay the vet bills and food for which runs me approximately $70 a month.”
Additionally, her boyfriend has to pay around $700 per month in child support, as he has a daughter from a previous relationship.
Now that you understand their respective financial situations, you can see why she asked to split their shared expenses in an unequal way.
She questioned her boyfriend if she could just pay a percentage of the bills in line with what she makes vs. what he does instead of them both going in 50/50. Her boyfriend declined, pointing out how cheap it is to live in his apartment.
“My opinion is that I’m coming back from an overpriced one-bedroom with more debt than him and less income and wanted help with the shared bills in order to contribute to saving for a future purchase of property together and to get ahead of my credit debt to hopefully pay it off sooner than anticipated,” she added.
Her boyfriend mentioned he was open to it, but only if they took into consideration every single bill, every event they may attend, every movie theatre or restaurant they might go to, and his child support.
She responded that it’s not her responsibility to help her boyfriend pay for child support in any way, shape, or form, just like paying for her pets isn’t something he should help with.
Her boyfriend refused to compromise and said she can pay a piece of his child support, and they could work out a percentage split on their bills. Otherwise, it would be 50/50 on everything.
“I don’t see how that’s fair as, again, he makes double my annual income and has several thousand more in savings than I do,” she said.
“I said I only wanted the split for ONE year to get back on my feet so that I could be more of a contributor in the future. Help me now so l can help us later. He said I should have found a cheaper place and that I chose to leave and put myself in this position of expenses to income ratio.”
She does agree with that, but there’s a housing crisis going on in their area, and she was desperate to find somewhere to live.
Her mom and dad are helping her pay her rent right now, and her boyfriend believes if she moves back in with him, she should continue to accept this money from her parents.
She retorted that she couldn’t believe he wasn’t willing to help her out, yet thinks it’s acceptable for her to keep taking money from her mom and dad.
Her boyfriend remarked that he didn’t want to ultimately end up like her parents, giving her money to help her afford to live.
“He wants me to show him that I am able to handle my own bills with this cheap rent because if I can’t, then he doesn’t see how it would work with a mortgage,” she continued.
“I don’t disagree with that logic, but again, I only asked for this split for one year, and then we’d go back to 50/50.”
“I love my boyfriend very much, and I know he loves me. We have both compromised on many other things, but this is the big one for me…Do I say let’s put everything into the pot, including child support? It doesn’t seem fair to me, but perhaps I’m too involved to see it.”
What do you think she should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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More About:Relationships