Her Husband Gave A Girl His Number And Never Mentioned He Was Married, And This Isn’t The First Time He’s Done This
Micro-cheating consists of tiny acts that slowly eat away at your trust in your partner, although none of those acts overtly may seem to point to unfaithfulness.
I feel like if your partner is micro-cheating on you, it’s only a matter of time until they test the waters and try to full-blown cheat, but in the meantime, they just see what they can get away with or what boundaries they can push.
After this 26-year-old woman’s 26-year-old husband micro-cheated on her, she’s left wondering if she should forgive him.
Yesterday evening, her husband grabbed drinks with some of his new coworkers, and he sent her videos and photos of what he was up to.
While her husband was out, a girl who knew one of his coworkers approached their table. This girl hit on her husband and then asked if she could have his number.
“He gives her his number and doesn’t mention that he is married, although [he is] wearing his ring,” she explained.
“That night, she texts him it was nice to meet him and he replies the same. The next morning, she asks how he’s doing, and he replies that he’s hungover. She texts back, and he ghosts her from there.”
Later on, while her husband was watching a movie with her at home, this girl texted her husband again, wanting to know how his day was going.
She actually saw the text and immediately felt hurt. Her husband took his sweet time before admitting that he gave this girl his phone number.
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His excuse was it was “nice” to have this girl hitting on him, but he only gave her his number because he had too much to drink.
What I find problematic with her husband’s reasoning is that if you’re happy in your marriage, you know it’s wrong to give your number to someone else, even if you do have a few drinks in you.
Also, he wasn’t drunk the next morning when he responded to this girl texting him, so there’s no way to excuse entertaining her.
Her husband promised he wasn’t trying to see this girl again or physically cheat, and she’s inclined to buy that story.
“He knew this would upset me, though, and purposefully hid it and tried to remove all evidence of this before I saw it,” she added.
“The sneakiness is just another reminder he knew that it was disrespectful and knew her intentions. He’s promising it would never happen again, but giving out his number he’s done 1 other time… to my knowledge. Not sure where to go from here.”
“I’ve confronted the girls both times, and they both have said the same things. They mention they didn’t know he was married [and] will be blocking him, but assure me nothing happened past exchanging numbers and light texting before he ghosts.”
She’s wondering how she can move forward with her husband. They got married two years ago, and their relationship is pretty solid.
They’re extremely loving as a couple, and they enjoy spending time with one another. Her husband has stated before that he feels happy being married to her, so he needs to do a deep dive into why he feels the desire to get other girls to validate him.
Her husband’s dad and grandpa were serial cheaters, so he didn’t have the best examples of functional marriages growing up, but that hardly gives him a pass to behave in the way that he has.
“I am all over his social media, and he never likes other girls’ pictures, follows girls we don’t both know, etc. He wears my initial on his neck, I’m his phone background, etc.,” she continued.
“So many reminders to not give out your number and yet he made the choice to do so. I’m struggling with what’s forgivable; I don’t want to enable it by staying, but leaving would also break my heart. He is remorseful, but I’m scared it will happen again.”
And so, she leaves us with this question: “Would exchanging numbers with someone who hit on you be forgivable (micro-cheating), or was this an unforgivable cheating?”
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