She’s Considering A Divorce After Her Husband Wrecked Their Home Playing Handyman
A decade ago, this woman got married to her husband, and they’ve been together for fifteen years in total. Prior to tying the knot, her husband was brimming with ambition and purpose.
But ever since becoming her husband, he’s fine with things being as they are, and he has no intention of working towards bettering anything.
Although he did launch a restaurant and a food truck business a few years ago, the pandemic is mainly the reason it tanked.
Her husband does have loans through their HELOC for the failed endeavor, and he’s been paying them off. This means she’s left paying for what their family needs so he can afford to do this.
“Sometimes I bring this up, and he gets defensive and tells me that his business [pays] for my car insurance and my phone bill, and he pays for most of the groceries,” she explained.
“However, I pay for his health insurance, whatever our 2 kids need, mortgage, vacations, going out, etc. He also tries to be handy around the house. Due to our home’s low water pressure, showering was not enjoyable.”
“So he installed a water pump to the attic a couple [of] years ago. Last year, it sprung a leak in the attic and caused some very minor leak on the bathroom ceiling.”
She asked her husband to take the pump out of the attic to prevent more leaks from happening, and after he got her to stop being so angry about it, he never uninstalled that pump.
He mentioned there was a valve he could shut off when the temperature dropped, so that would prevent more problems springing up down the line.
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Well, here we are a year later, and it’s been freezing outside where they live. It slipped her husband’s mind to shut off that valve.
Her cleaning lady called her up one day recently to say that her shower was overflowing with leaking water.
“The ceiling in the bathroom collapsed, water leaked from the ceiling to my closet, water ran into the master bedroom, hallway, down the ceiling to the first floor- damaging hardwoods in the office, dining room, and in a tiny hallway,” she said.
“Obviously, when I came home that day, I was [questioning] why this had occurred; I was in a state of distress and anger. I did not yell, but I did have a stern tone of voice. After 2-3 minutes of questioning- he just shut down and told me he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s been 6 days since the disaster occurred; we are not speaking; he is doing some repairs but not including me in any decisions regarding how to repair/replace carpet/hardwoods. I asked him about it on day 2; he told me that he won’t allow me to “micromanage the project.”
They’re no strangers to arguing, but when they do, her husband shuts down and refuses to speak to her. She’s guilty of doing this as well at times.
She and her husband have attempted therapy, and their therapist suggested that they make time to speak to one another about issues they’re struggling with. They’re not adhering to this advice, and her husband is especially to blame for that.
She’s growing tired of her husband’s inability to truly support her and their kids. He’s always insisting that they have enough money (which she doesn’t agree with), he’s not as masculine or motivated as she would prefer, and adding his wrecking of their home by playing handyman, she’s pretty much done.
She’s additionally furious that her husband is ignoring the health risks associated with the damage, like mold, as well as burying his head in the sand about how much money this is going to cost them to fix.
She’s left wondering if it’s mean of her to make her husband get a stable job to help them get the money to make the repairs or ask for a separation if he won’t do this.
She knows that if they do move ahead with a separation, she’s going to be asking for a divorce.
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