8 Red Flags To Look Out For In Your Own Relationship
The Right Relationship Will Make You, And The Wrong One Will Break You
The right relationship will have you feeling on top of the world – the wrong relationship will damage your well-being. So, how do you avoid toxic relationships like those? First, you look for red flags.
What Are Red Flags In A Relationship?
Red flags are early warning signs of a toxic relationship. These can be subtle or overt manipulative and unhealthy behaviors.
Red flags are dangerous because they are not all created equal – many are hard to spot until you are well into the relationship.
Here Are 8 Red Flags You Need To Watch Out For
Red flags can indicate you are dealing with a narcissist, an abuser, or any level of manipulative and aggressive behavior.
You can avoid getting trapped in a toxic and abusive relationship when you learn how to spot red flags early on. So, here are 8 common red flags that can creep up in any relationship.
1: Your Partner Tries To Control You
If your partner attempts to control who you hang out with, who you talk to, how much you can see your family and friends, if you can/cannot have a job or any other controlling behavior, that is a massive red flag!
Healthy relationships are built around trust, compromise, and autonomy, amongst other things. Therefore, controlling behavior has no place in a healthy relationship.
2: Your Partner Accuses You Of Flirting With Other People Regularly
This shows distrust, which is a relationship killer. If you and your partner cannot trust one another, you have no business being together. Likewise, accusing your partner of flirting or other behaviors without any evidence shows insecurity and instability in the relationship.
If you want the relationship to work, it has to be built with a foundation of trust.
3: Your Partner Gaslights You
One of the most potent weapons a narcissist has is gaslighting. If your partner attempts to confuse or alter your perception of events, they are gaslighting you. This is a textbook manipulation tactic favored by narcissists and abusers.
Some common phrases you might hear that indicate gaslighting include: “You’re crazy.” “You’re overreacting.” “That’s not what happened.” “You’re making that up.”
If you hear anything resembling this, you are being gaslit. Your partner may even attempt to convince others you are crazy to take away your support system. So be wary and stay alert if you think you are being gaslit. Gaslighting is a red flag you should not ignore.
4: Your Partner Humiliates And Belittles You In Front Of Others
A little bit of humor is acceptable in a relationship, especially if it’s something both of you do with the support of the other.
However, if your partner actively makes fun of you or humiliates you in front of others, and this is not something you have discussed as acceptable in the relationship, that is a red flag.
This could be a sign of low self-esteem in your partner, and they feel they need to bring you down to their level. Don’t let this red flag sneak up on you. If you notice this behavior, bring it up and establish boundaries so your partner knows what is and is not acceptable.
5: Your Partner Asks You To Do Degrading Things
This is another red flag built around boundaries. If your partner asks or forces you to do degrading things that you did not agree to at the beginning of the relationship, you need to discuss and set firm boundaries with your partner.
6: Your Partner Destroys And Damages Things You Care About
Has your partner ever intentionally broken a picture you like? Maybe they damaged a relationship/friendship you were fond of? Perhaps they just ripped your favorite shirt?
Regardless of how minuscule it looks on the surface if your partner is willing to damage things you care about intentionally – that’s a red flag.
One day it could escalate, so don’t ignore this. Instead, speak up, act fast, and leave if needed. If you cannot leave, seek support.
7: Your Partner Has No Self-Awareness
While everyone has different levels of emotional intelligence, if your partner lacks any of how their actions affect you – that’s a red flag.
People with low to no emotional intelligence are more likely to engage in manipulative and abusive behavior, so pay close attention.
8: Your Partner Refuses To Resolve Conflicts
If your partner tries to “win” the arguments vs. resolve the arguments – that’s a red flag. If your partner tries to avoid conflicts rather than work through them – that’s a red flag.
Constructive conflict can make relationships even better in the long run, so if your partner refuses to work on resolving conflicts with you in a healthy way, that’s a sign that your future with them will be full of passive-aggressive behavior and stonewalling when you try to resolve things.
So, You’ve Noticed Some Red Flags In Your Relationship: What Do You Do Now?
The good news is that red flags are not automatically the kiss of death for your relationship. What matters now is how to deal with them. So what do you do? Talk to your partner about them!
Having a conversation with your partner about their red flags will let you know two things: If they are aware those red flags exist and if you can stay and work on those (or if you need to leave).
Whether or not the conversation goes well is still a win for you. Relationships only survive and thrive when everyone involved is working on bettering the relationship. So speak up when you notice red flags.
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