Her Dad’s Upset She Doesn’t Care That His Wife Quit Trying To Play Mom To Her And Her Siblings
Six years ago, this 16-year-old girl’s dad met his new wife. Her parents were divorced, and her mom passed away five years ago.
Right after that, her dad and his wife insisted that she and her siblings should treat his wife like their mom. She, her 14-year-old sister, and her 17-year-old brother were all kind to her dad’s wife, but they didn’t want her to take their mom’s place. They also refused to call their dad’s wife ‘Mom’ and instead used her first name.
“She didn’t like feeling like she did some mothering stuff like cooking, cleaning, driving us places, when we didn’t treat her like a mom or go to her for those things,” she explained.
“It bothered her that Dad would be the person we’d go to if we wanted to go someplace. Or that we went to Dad for permission. Or that we didn’t show her physical affection like we did that.”
Her dad’s wife never said anything to her or her siblings about her disappointment, but she did vent to her dad about it.
Her dad’s wife was also afraid to say something to her or her siblings, as she didn’t want them to end up hating her.
The thing is, she and her siblings only have a single parent, and her dad’s wife is not included in that. Her dad grew resentful of them not being so willing to look at his wife in a new light.
Her dad mentioned he felt sad about them not having two parents for the remainder of their lives, but not even that made them want to elevate his wife to mom status.
“Almost two years ago, she decided she was going to disengage from us. She still talks to us. But she didn’t cook or clean or offer to take us places,” she said.
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“She’s not trying to do the motherly stuff that she hated doing when she knew we didn’t see her as a parent. And we’re good with that. Honestly, there’s way less tension around now because she’s not venting to dad anymore, and she’s happier just being a person we get along with.”
The issue is that her dad is waiting around for her and her siblings to be full of regret. He wants them all to say sorry to his wife.
He wants them to tell his wife that they adore her and see her as a mom now. Her dad has pulled her and her siblings aside and spoken to them privately throughout the last couple of days, pushing them to let his wife be their mom once and for all.
Her dad was upset when they all informed him that they like how their family dynamic is and they don’t want his wife to keep trying to do things for them.
“He said he cares because it’s not how he wants his family to be. He said he wants a real family. Not a spouse and a family separate from each other,” she continued.
“He told the three of us we should have realized our mistake once she stopped. He said normal kids would. That upset my sister because she didn’t like Dad saying we’re not normal. He denies that’s what he said or meant, but it’s become more of a mess now.”
What advice do you have for her?
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