Her Bridesmaids Took A Vacation Without Her, So She No Longer Wants Them At Her Wedding
How would you react if the women you expected to be your bridesmaids went on vacation together behind your back?
This woman has five friends, with whom she’s close, and she always thought that these girls were her ride or dies.
She’s getting married next year, and while she has yet to officially invite her friends to be her bridesmaids, it’s an unspoken agreement already that they will be there to support her as she walks down the aisle.
One of her friends, Anna, organized a weekend getaway without her knowledge, and Anna’s mom and dad allowed her to bring some people to a house they had been renting.
Every single girl in their group of friends was invited to come on vacation…except for her. Another girl who was asked to come hopped on a plane and flew there from an entirely separate state.
“I’ve been talking for months about wanting to do a weekend trip with all of them, and I had no idea this was happening,” she explained.
“I only found out when they started posting on our shared private story that I’m still in. I was literally the only one not there. When I distanced myself afterward (short and delayed responses after I understood where I stand in this friendship), Anna called to ‘check in’—something she’s never done before.”
“When I brought up the trip, she claimed it wasn’t intentional exclusion, just that it came together that way, and gave excuses about me being ‘always busy’ and the trip being overwhelming with the number of people coming.”
She pointed out to Anna that it seemed as if they all wanted to intentionally exclude her, since they’re all best friends.
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Anna got defensive and replied that they would never do anything on purpose to hurt her feelings, but that’s too little, too late.
She asked Anna to try to picture things from her perspective, but Anna got combative and hit back that she should be doing the same.
She was polite and said thank you to Anna for calling. She’s not grateful, though; she feels like Anna was just happy to feed her excuses.
Anna then sent her a text thanking her for speaking with her before adding that she appreciates their friendship. She put a thumbs up on the message but didn’t respond.
“To me, it felt more like damage control than accountability. Especially since she knows exclusion is a sensitive subject for me from a past incident,” she continued.
“It feels like she reached out just enough to say she tried, in case anyone asked—but I’m still sitting with the fact that none of them thought to speak up for me.”
“What really stings is not just Anna organizing it—it’s that none of the others pushed for me to be there either. These are supposed to be my bridesmaids.”
She’s not positive if she should attempt to speak to the remaining girls in her friend group, or if she should move on and still invite them to be her bridesmaids in an official capacity.
She’s leaning more towards simply cutting all of her friends out of her life and no longer having them come to her wedding, even as guests.
What do you think she should do?
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