Her Husband Wants To Name Their Daughter After His Late Wife, Which Makes Her Uncomfortable
This 29-year-old woman is 35 weeks pregnant with her firstborn. Her 36-year-old husband was married once before her, and his wife passed away eight years ago.
She has always tried her hardest to respect the memory of her husband’s late wife. She and her husband discuss his late wife, and she hasn’t pushed him to take down the photos he has of her in their home.
She has no interest in erasing this woman her husband used to love, nor does she want to pretend like her husband wasn’t with her.
As soon as she and her husband found out that they’re expecting a baby girl, they set to work coming up with baby names they adored.
“He didn’t say anything at first, but after a few weeks, he told me he really wanted to name her after his late wife,” she explained.
“He said it would be a way to honor her and keep her memory alive through our daughter. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that.”
“I said I wanted our daughter to have her own name, one that reflects both of us and the family we’re building together, not something tied to a relationship I wasn’t part of. He looked disappointed but said he understood.”
Several days after that conversation, her husband dragged up the baby name issue again. Her husband even reached out to his mom about it, and his mom sent her a message saying she should reconsider, as naming their daughter what her husband wants will be a wonderful gesture.
Her husband’s sister has weighed in as well, insisting it would mean the world to their entire family if she gives her husband her blessing to name their daughter after his late wife.
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She declined again. She reminded her husband that she does respect that he’s still grieving the loss of his late wife, but she wouldn’t want to feel like she’s in charge of ‘raising someone else’s legacy.’
She thinks her unborn daughter deserves to grow up without being in the shadow of a woman she never even knew.
“He hasn’t pushed again since, but he’s been cold. Quiet. I know he’s hurt. I do love him, and I know he still carries that loss with him,” she added.
“But I also feel like I have the right to want my own first child to have her own identity. I’m not trying to erase anyone. I just want to be seen, too.”
“Now I’m getting messages from his family saying I’m being insecure and jealous of someone who isn’t even here anymore. My own mom says she understands my side but wonders if this is the hill I want to die on. I feel like I’m already grieving the peace I thought this time would bring. And now I don’t know if I’m holding my ground or being unfair.”
Do you think she should change her mind?
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