Her Unemployed Boyfriend Is Mad About How Much Time She Spends At Work
Six years ago, this 27-year-old woman began dating her 30-year-old boyfriend. He’s unemployed, but he says he’s a content creator.
The reality is, he posts his content two or three times a year, when specific products come out. He doesn’t work on content creation every day.
As for her, she works 35 to 40 hours a week, and her job is remote. On top of her career, which she adores, she has a side hustle she spends 10 to 15 hours a month on.
“I love my job, although it can be stressful at times, but it’s ultimately what I want to be doing. And I really don’t think I overwork or prioritize it more than other things,” she explained.
“I’ve always been super open about finances, but my BF has not, which I respected and didn’t push after some unpleasant conversations about finances. I thought as long as he had it together, I was okay with it.”
“I recently found out that he is getting help from his parents on rent and his car payment (so, I’m the only one paying rent essentially), and he hasn’t made a livable wage from his content creation since around Covid, which is why he needs the help. When he isn’t making content, which is about 3 weeks out of the year, he’s doing whatever he wants all day long.”
She’s spent the last two years living with her boyfriend, and she’s disappointed that he has yet to come up with a way to make money that doesn’t involve asking his parents for handouts.
Her boyfriend is not the kind of person who thrives in your typical 9-to-5 position, which is fine by her, but she wants her boyfriend to find a job that makes him money.
Not that long ago, she and her boyfriend got into an argument regarding money, and he insisted that her job is causing her not to be present in their relationship.
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He also feels her career does not benefit him in any way, which is funny because she’s the one who pays their rent and comes up with the money for half of the household bills, such as groceries. If she didn’t have a job, this would not be possible.
Oh, and her boyfriend threw in there that if she invested literally all of her time into their house instead of her career, it would be super clean.
“I’ll admit I’m messier, occasionally leaving my coffee mug and breakfast dishes in the sink until after work, or not getting a chance to clean the litter box during my work day,” she added.
“I also have ADHD, so I will let laundry pile up and my office get cluttered, but I’m working on it and always make sure our common area is tidy.”
She doesn’t view this as abnormal, however, her boyfriend feels upset about it, even though he does the same or less housework than she does.
While their argument about money was still ongoing, her boyfriend brought up that he has no remorse for being unemployed for years, since it gave them more time to spend together, yet he feels she does not appreciate the small things he does for her (like cooking her breakfast or getting her coffee while she’s working, which happens once in a blue moon).
She does have gratitude for the small things, but she would prefer that her boyfriend grow up and get a real job already.
This is the time in their lives when they should both be pulling their weight financially so that they can create a future together.
She wishes her boyfriend had a job instead of all of his free time, since that would make it possible for them to discuss getting married or having kids.
“Given that I’m supporting myself on about $60k a year, and he isn’t contributing anything else, scares me,” she admitted.
“He said he never wants to be the person who work takes them away from their family or who prioritizes work over their family. He’s raised the concern that if we had kids, I’d be distracted by my job.”
“I had working parents growing up, and it just makes sense to me that I’d be able to have both without being villainized. His belittlement of my job is hurtful because he knows it’s my dream job and a super competitive field, so I care about it, but I also do prioritize our home the rest of the time.”
Her boyfriend doesn’t get where she’s coming from, as he’s gone his whole life without working a traditional job.
Her boyfriend’s latest idea is an app that he thinks will make him super rich, and he’s mad that she’s not being his cheerleader over it.
So anyway, here she is wondering if she’s a jerk for expecting her boyfriend to get a real job, and if this is something they can overcome.
It has crossed her mind that if her boyfriend continues to be unemployed, this could be a dealbreaker for her.
What do you think?
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