She Skipped A Trip With Her Friends, Since She Didn’t Want To Talk About Babies And Marriage For Days On End
When you’re a woman and reach a certain age, like in your late 20s and early to mid-30s, you may realize that the things you and your friends care about and talk about most have drastically changed.
For instance, the friends you used to talk about clubbing all weekend with in your early 20s may want to talk more about planning a wedding or becoming a parent by the time you reach your mid-30s.
It can be a difficult transition, especially if you don’t want the same things as your friends in the future.
One woman caused a rift in her friend group after telling them she didn’t want to go on their annual girls’ trip because she knew they’d mostly talk about marriage and babies, two things she’s nowhere near ready for.
She’s 27 and has a group of seven girlfriends her age. They’ve known each other for over a decade and have been friends since their school days.
While they don’t all live near each other anymore, they make an effort to see each other by taking a few girls’ trips each year and renting Airbnb homes to stay in together.
Their trips usually last a weekend, and they used to be a lot of fun for her. They’d eat good food, have fun, drink some drinks, and enjoy a hot tub.
“I am single and dating, and I don’t know if I would like children, but [if] I did, I know I wouldn’t want one soon,” she said.
“Around five of my friends are married or in very long-term relationships. Two of these five [friends] have a baby or are pregnant. I will [see] all my friends this year for various wedding [and] baby events. I have been invited to this year’s girls’ trip but have said I can’t come. I didn’t originally provide a reason.“
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“When queried in person by my friend, who is pregnant, I told her the truth. I am not going because it’s a massive financial expense for three days where we only talk about people’s upcoming engagements, weddings, [and] babies.”
Recently, she’s felt like her friends are only interested in her life updates when they relate to her dating life. Other than that, her friends mostly want to talk about themselves, their babies, husbands, weddings, etc.
She expressed to her pregnant friend that this upcoming girls’ trip would feel like an expensive trip where she’d only feel bad about herself.
“I made it clear when [talking to] my friend that I am thrilled for them all living the lives they want, but maybe it’s not the weekend for me at the moment,“ she explained.
“It feels like the group has two distinct life stages [and] I’m in the minority. My friend has since told me she’s really hurt. I am not excited for her or our other friends. I responded by saying, I was, but I just didn’t think the trip was for me.”
While her friends eventually told her they understood where she was coming from, she wonders if she shouldn’t have been so honest when turning down the girls’ trip invitation.
Should she have come up with a different excuse, or was she right to speak her mind?
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