Her Mom’s Disgusted With Her For Being Grateful Her Dad Didn’t Allow Her To Be A Bone Marrow Donor For Her Half-Sister
Allowing a child to be a bone marrow donor is an ethically slippery slope, and children are not allowed to consent to medical procedures like this (a parent has to give permission).
Additionally, the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Bioethics has five conditions that must be met in order to allow a child to donate bone marrow.
This 20-year-old girl’s parents got divorced when she was little and split custody of her and her two siblings (an older and younger brother).
Her mom got married for a second time and then gave birth to Evie, her half-sister. Evie was shockingly born with leukemia, and she was eight back then.
Evie’s first round of treatment seemed to be a success, but then doctors said Evie had to get a bone marrow transplant.
None of the adults in the family matched Evie, and then when the donor list was checked, there wasn’t a match there either.
Her mom wanted to get her brothers and her tested as matches, but her dad put his foot down. So, her mom sneakily did it anyway, and she was confirmed to be the sole match.
When her dad found this all out, he told her mom he would not allow her to be a bone marrow donor. A couple of years ago, she did a bit of investigating into the topic of how ethical this is, and she was surprised to discover that children can’t freely donate.
While she and her brothers were not actively involved in the conversations that happened between her dad and mom, she and her oldest brother couldn’t help but notice they were arguing nonstop.
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“In the end, my dad stopped me from being a donor. It did have long-lasting effects, and my mom and her husband hate my dad for it,” she explained.
“My mom had a big problem with me and my brothers having a good relationship with dad as we got older, and she was upset we all chose to live primarily with him in our mid to late teens.”
She and her youngest brother still live with their dad, which drives her mom crazy. Not that long ago, her mom decided to tell her about how her dad prevented her from being Evie’s donor.
Her mom expected her to be furious with her dad, since her mom obviously can’t let that anger go. Her mom argued that Evie’s health long-term would have been greatly improved if she had been allowed to donate to her.
Evie did eventually find a donor, but she was so sick for such a long time, she never bounced back to a complete recovery, and her quality of life was (and still is) impacted.
Her mom went on a whole tirade about her dad stepping in, and she finally let her mom know that she knew about the whole thing. Her mom thought she was lying, but she reiterated that she’s known for quite a long time.
Her mom freaked out on her for pretty much an entire hour, and she stood there and allowed it to happen. In conclusion, her mom demanded to know how she was fine living with her dad when he made a decision her mom felt was cruel.
“I told her he made the right decision, and I was glad he did it. I was glad he fought for me. My mom told me she couldn’t look at me and didn’t know how to handle me being her daughter anymore,” she continued.
“She told me it was disgusting, and then she said my poor half-sister would be crushed to know how I felt. After that, my brothers told her they knew too.”
“My younger brother said he found out in his teens, and it made sense. So, mom’s basically disowned us all now. And she said there’s something heartless about us.”
She’s left wondering if she’s somehow in the wrong here.
What do you think?
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