Her Sister Put Her In Foster Care, And Is Upset She Doesn’t Want A Relationship With Her Now
I couldn’t imagine growing up in foster care after my sister declined to adopt me, but that’s exactly what happened to this 20-year-old girl.
She has a sister named Rose who is a decade older than she is, and nine years ago, they tragically lost their parents in an accident.
She was eleven at the time, and after Rose declined to be her legal guardian, off she went to foster care, as Rose was the only relative who could have taken her in.
“I get it, she was living her life and didn’t want to become a parent to her 11-year-old sister. I don’t blame her for that. But I was hoping she’d still be a sister to me,” she explained.
“But pretty soon she dropped all contact, and sent me one video saying having me in her life is too painful for her, I’m a reminder of our parents, and she can’t move on if I’m still in her life. Then blocked all contact.”
“I felt abandoned and hurt, and I had lost not only my parents but also the only other person I considered my family. My life in foster care wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t very lucky with the foster families.”
She encountered some horrible things as she grew up in the foster care system, and she struggled with being angry at Rose for quite a long time.
Two months ago, she was shocked to receive a message from Rose, who reached out to her via social media. Rose asked how she was doing before suggesting they meet up in person.
She was hardly ecstatic as she replied, as she felt as if Rose had died when her parents did, since Rose acted like she didn’t exist.
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She exchanged a couple of messages with Rose and finally agreed to see her. As soon as she saw Rose in real life, Rose was affectionate towards her, but she kept her distance.
She found out that Rose has gotten married and she’s a mom to a little boy. Rose mentioned she hoped she would meet her son. Rose starting a family of her own is why she suspects Rose wanted to reach out to her after so many years.
“The thing was that I felt nothing when I saw her or a picture of her child. I was totally indifferent, which she probably noticed, and asked what was wrong,” she added.
“I calmly explained that I understood why she did what she did, but she made choices that affected me, and we can’t just pick up where we left off. I’m not that person anymore, and to me, the Rose who was my sister died with our parents, and I buried her with them, and whoever she is, she isn’t the sister I lost.”
“She tried to apologize, but I told her she doesn’t need to, as I’m not owed apologies. Just choices and their consequences. She broke down crying as I sat there, pretty much feeling and showing nothing. She talked about how difficult it was for her and how overwhelmed she was, and went on for maybe 10 minutes while crying, and I let her speak, but in the end, told her we’re here because of the choices she made.”
She filled her boyfriend in after she parted ways with Rose, and he thinks she was mean to Rose. Her boyfriend additionally believes that how she handled that interaction made everything harder on Rose.
She never intended to make Rose sob or feel bad, but she’s wondering if she was wrong to tell Rose that they really aren’t family anymore.
What do you think?
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