She Gave Her Husband An Ultimatum: They Can Get Divorced If He Wants To Keep Competing In Triathlons
Fifteen years ago, this 37-year-old woman got married to her 39-year-old husband, and they have three children together who are all less than ten.
She and her husband enjoy being fit and active, though her husband is the one always pushing the envelope on that.
A year ago, her husband completed his first triathlon, and while she was supportive of his endeavor, the amount of time he spent training made it difficult for her at home.
For more than three months, her husband worked out every single day for literal hours on end. Often, he would come home from work, then jump right into a three-hour-long run or bike ride.
She felt like she was a single mom, since he never saw her or their kids, and it was not easy for her to do all of the childcare alone.
One month after her husband completed his first triathlon, he instantly said he wanted to complete a second one ASAP. Not only that, but her husband planned on frequently committing to triathlons all year round.
So, she issued her husband an ultimatum and made it clear that they should get a divorce if he wanted to routinely compete like that.
“He was incredibly upset and indignant- told me I was unsupportive and trying to sabotage him. He said it was unfair to make that demand- that if I was dating someone, I would never ask them to quit their hobby,” she explained.
“And he’s right- I wouldn’t, but I would still absolutely peace out because their hobby is incompatible with the life I’m looking for. I didn’t really feel like I was even making a demand…I was just stating a fact that it was really hard to support the family alone while he trained and that I couldn’t see myself doing it forever if he wanted to become a triathlete.”
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“Even though it was ‘unsupportive’ on paper, I feel like the most supportive thing I can do in this situation is to step away and let him do what he wants and chase his dreams.”
Her husband ultimately decided to quit competing, and he mentioned his family is his priority, but this was months ago, and her husband isn’t happy about it.
He makes passive-aggressive comments about the ultimatum, and he brings it up anytime that they fight. She can’t determine if her husband resents her or if he’s trying to guilt her into allowing him to compete again.
She’s sticking to the ultimatum, and she does not want her husband putting triathlons above their family.
What advice do you have for her?
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