When walking into a bad situation, many people ask themselves what they can do to help. He asked himself the same question upon entering his sister’s house, and the answer he came up with was one that left two kids in the foster care system.
He’s not sure he made the wrong call, but he’s not entirely sure he made the right one either, especially since his parents are furious and failing to back him up.
This 28-year-old man has a sister whom he’s not close to. He actually went over four years without speaking to her, but then her husband underwent a failed surgery and passed away. He went to visit her and her two kids following the loss.
While he was at his sister’s house, he took a look around and was appalled by the conditions his sister and her kids were living in, as it wasn’t sanitary.
“She’s had hoarding tendencies since she was a child, but never this awful. Nobody should be hoarding bags of trash. I should not see maggots in a refrigerator,” he explained.
“It was bizarre since her children looked groomed. Clean clothes and well-kept hair. Their bedrooms were cleaned. I questioned if they spent [the] majority of their time in their room, which is unhealthy. Almost like a prison sentence. I tried talking to my sister plenty of times for months, but she shut me down.”
“Said it was pointless for me to care now since I stopped showing up for her children. Which is true. I’m not like my sister, who can bring herself to love and care about people. Human connection is difficult for me. I do lack the ability to show/feel both empathy and sympathy.”
He ultimately called CPS and got his sister’s kids taken away from her. Both of his sister’s kids are now being placed in the foster care system, as CPS asked if he would take them in, and he said no.
While he can afford to support his sister’s kids, he doesn’t think he’s fit as a parental figure, as the kids require more than he can give them.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Yes, he’s more capable than his sister of caring for them, but that’s not enough of a reason to accept them into his home.
His parents have since spoken to his sister and accused him of tearing the family apart by being the one who called CPS and tipped them off.
“I want those children to have a childhood. Children need more than just love. They need an environment that fosters healthy growth,” he continued.
“My sister couldn’t provide that at the moment. I do hope she cleans up her home and starts to attend therapy again to get her children back. Mom and Dad are helping her with the cleaning up process. I chose to stay away.”
“[Am I the jerk] for recognizing that I cannot care for children, because I cannot bring myself to love them?”
He saw a problem, he tried to address it directly with his sister for months, she shut him down, and he made a call that he believed was in the best interest of the two kids who couldn’t advocate for themselves. That part is hard to fault him for.
I do think his mom and dad are displacing their anger by blaming him, and they could always step up and take the kids in themselves.
Do you think his reason for not taking the kids in is valid, or does the fact that he could provide for them financially outweigh his emotional limitations?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
