If you had a sibling who was getting bullied at school by their teachers for being overweight, and came crying to you about it, what would you do about it?
This 18-year-old girl has a 12-year-old sister, and they’re extremely close. Her sister is overweight, with a BMI of 30. Everyone in their family is obese, except for her.
She has never once called her sister fat or put her down over her weight. Instead, she’s gone out of her way to tell her that she is pretty while teaching her that her worth is not tied to the number on the scale.
“I try my best to tell my parents and extended family to treat her with the same kindness, but they don’t (despite their parenting and lifestyle literally being the reason she got to an unhealthy weight),” she explained.
“A month ago, I noticed that she started to weigh herself every day and looked visibly distressed every time she did so. Numerous other habits appeared, like self-deprecating comments about her appearance and body, and getting emotional while eating (sometimes it’s anger, sometimes it’s sadness).”
“A week ago, she came to me and confided in me. She told me about all the bullying she would get at school, the comments from the teachers (there was literally an instance where she and her friends overheard two teachers referring to her as ‘the pig’ instead of by her real name, casually), as well as the mean things our family would say about her body (which I can attest to being terrible).”
Her sister sobbed to her about how she could not lose any weight and didn’t get why people were so cruel to her. Her sister went on to say that she can’t bear to look at herself in the mirror.
She did her best to calm her sister down, knowing she couldn’t change anything. It was heartbreaking for her to witness her sister come apart like this.
She grew up fat, so she is very aware of how mean people are to fat little girls. It gave her an eating disorder when she was 13 and 14, and she lost half of her body weight.
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“I truly believe I would not be alive if I had continued this lifestyle for another year. Thankfully, I fully recovered and regained my health,” she added.
“My biggest nightmare is my sister going through the same thing, and unfortunately, she’s already showing signs of starting. So I decided that instead of her going off and doing the same terrible thing, I will be the one to put her on a diet and regulate her food.”
The diet isn’t restrictive, and it gets her sister to a normal calorie amount for a girl of her age. She’s not sure if she has done the right thing by putting her little sister on a diet.
She’s concerned that perhaps she is going to give her an eating disorder, when all she’s doing is trying to help save her from a lifetime of pain and suffering.
“I love my sister to death, and I would hate myself if I’m the reason for a future life-long struggle with food. I really don’t know what to do,” she continued.
I’m so sorry to her and her sister, considering their mom and dad failed them. I think if she tells her sister they’re making healthier choices rather than framing it as a diet, that’s a better message to send.
She should cook meals with her to help further teach her about healthy options, and she can exercise with her too, like get her out walking around their neighborhood, even.
All of those things should really help and make the overall approach feel more friendly, like they’re in this together. And every little girl needs their sister to be a good role model like that!
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
