For a lot of people, marriage is the ultimate goal. I mean, the idea of being indefinitely tied to the love of your life, and sticking together through thick and thin, sounds pretty great, right?
Well, popular media has not done the best job of educating people on what marriage is really like after the honeymoon phase.
Don’t get me wrong– a lot of partners end up in happy marriages where they are able to communicate, feel heard, and navigate challenges like a team. But after the novelty of tying the knot really dies down, life gets real– and it is important to be prepared for that reality.
So, one Reddit user recently posed an interesting question to the online community. They asked married people to share things that they wished unmarried people knew prior to saying their vows. And the thread is quite enlightening.
Marriage Should Not Mean You Forfeit A Good Relationship With Yourself
“My wife’s uncle officiated us as he has for other family members and friends. And before the ceremony, he told us his ‘theory of love and marriage.'”
“He said many, if not most people, look at marriage as two becoming one. But, that is not accurate, healthy, or stable over any length of time.”
“He said it’s not two becoming one– it’s two becoming three. There’s each of us as separate individuals, and then us together as its own creation. And each of those three needs love, care, and attention. I have found it to be incredibly hopeful, helpful, healthy advice.”