These Are 5 Mixed Messages You Could Be Sending Without Realizing What You’re Doing
You Need Communication For A Relationship To Succeed
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Communication is critical for any relationship to thrive. Therefore, it is a crucial skill to develop so that your partner understands what you are saying to them.
Sending Mixed Messages Means A Disconnect Between What You Say And What You Mean
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When mixed messages occur, the person on the receiving end does not know which message they should receive.
Some Common Examples Of Mixed Messages Include:
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-Saying “I’m fine” when your facial expressions and body language indicate you are upset.
-Saying the words, “I want you to hold my hand in public more,” but when you try to do so, they push your hand away.
-“Last week, you told me you wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom, and now you are saying you want me to get a job. Which is it?”
Mixed messages are a conflict between your words vs. previous words, your words vs. your behaviors, and your words vs. your body language.
Here Are 5 Mixed Messages You Could Be Sending
You are still getting to know your partner at the beginning of a relationship. Therefore, miscommunication is typical when you first get together with someone. In addition, you are still learning how your partner communicates, so misunderstandings are bound to happen.
To help couples deal with communication issues that might arise, here are five common mixed messages that are likely to occur in a new relationship.
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#1: Saying You Want To Hang Out With Someone But Never Make Any Definitive Plans To Meet Up
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Please tell me if this sounds familiar: you meet a great guy at the bar. You two start talking for a few minutes, which turns into a few hours. You talk about everything: your likes, your pet peeves, your hobbies, your job, how much you hate your mom, and everything in between. Sparks are flying, and you feel ecstatic you met this guy. When the end of the night comes, you exchange numbers. You wait to see if he is one of those “waits three days to text you” guys, but he messages you the next morning checking on you.
After that, you guys text all day, every day, for the next couple of weeks. During this time, you repeatedly talk about how awesome it would be to meet up for another fun night or even a coffee date.
He always tells you that would be amazing and would be up for it anytime you want. However, you never set a date for him or throw a date out there. So now, he is probably wondering if you are really into him or if you are stringing him along for some reason.
Another version of this mixed message is when you say you had a great time but, after several days, still have not contacted him further. Again, this can easily confuse him as to whether you like him.
This is common on dating apps and the earliest stages of talking to someone. If you notice that you have a pattern of saying you want to make plans but never actually doing so, you are sending a mixed message.
#2: You Are Inconsistent In People’s Lives
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In this scenario, you meet up with people and hang out but make minimal effort to be a part of their lives unless you are directly looking at them. You have an “out of sight, out of mind” mentality with people.
This disconnect between being attentive and personable in person but not putting any effort in to meet up or check in outside of these in-person meetings, you are sending mixed messages.
In any relationship, we want a partner who is consistent and reliable. If you fail to initiate any calls, dates, or meet-ups yourself but are the perfect partner in person, it can confuse your partner.
#3: You’re Not Good At Digging Deeper Emotionally In A Relationship
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This mixed message occurs when you talk about a desire to get to know someone on a deeper level, but you don’t make any genuine effort to initiate a deep conversation or ask any questions that would require your partner to think and give you a deep response.
Another version of this mixed message is saying you want to take the relationship to the next level and learn more about them on a deeper level. Still, anytime they offer to initiate that conversation, you deflect or find a way out of answering those questions.
When this happens, your partner may question how sincere your desire to get to know them on a deeper level is.
#4: You Tend Only To Be There When It’s Convenient For You
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This mixed message occurs when you tell your new partner or anyone else you want to be there for them through thick and thin. However, when times get hard for them, and they reach out to you for support, you aren’t there for them.
You find any excuse to ditch them – whether it be work, school, a family emergency, or any other reason. Furthermore, when you need them, you will find a way to make sure you are free to talk or meet up with your partner or friend.
This makes the relationship one-sided and confusing for the other person. When you do this, you look manipulative.
#5: You Say You’re All-In But Flirt With Everyone Around You
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This sends a mixed message if you are talking to someone and tell them you wish to be exclusive but then keep flirting with everyone around you.
This behavior confuses your partner as they are not confident about where the relationship stands because your words and actions are not aligned.
How Do You Stop Sending Mixed Messages?
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Everyone, at some point, will send a mixed message – intentionally or unintentionally. What matters is that you avoid sending mixed messages as much as possible so those around you are not confused by what you say.
To help you pay more attention to your communication, here are a few tips for avoiding sending mixed messages to those close to you.
-Talk in person as much as possible. This will limit miscommunication over a DM, text, call, or email.
-If someone looks confused, ask them what’s wrong. Anytime you are talking with someone, and their response is not what you expected, ask them about it. Make sure you are on the same page.
-Take notes. Anytime you clear the air on a mixed message, take note of the mixed message you sent. This will help you avoid being a repeat offender and sending the same mixed message again.
Are you guilty of any of these mixed messages? Are there mixed messages not on here that you know of?
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