Katharina Buczek
Similarly, you may start focusing on only your partner’s flaws or mistakes– cataloging them in your brain and becoming increasingly annoyed with their habits.
The truth is, though, that your partner likely had all of these “frustrating” qualities when you met them. You probably just did not notice them when you first hit it off because you were blinded by the butterflies.
On top of that, the real reason why you are being so judgemental ties back to your own “critical inner voice,” which projects and distorts frustrations, insecurities, and fears onto your partner.
I’m not saying everything your partner does is perfectly fine and deserving of complete acceptance– like missing the hamper every single morning. But, your critical inner voice may magnify these little issues and turn them into larger (false) themes.
For instance, if you feel like your partner’s busy schedule has been interfering with your one-on-one time, your critical inner monologue might lead you to believe that your partner is selfish or doesn’t even care about you. Moreover, you may get the idea to start ignoring your partner until they notice and try to make an effort.
A far better way to deal with this situation, though, is actually just opening up to your partner from the start and telling them how you feel.
In order to stay in love or fall back in love, you cannot nitpick every single thing your partner does and build these acts up inside your head. Rather, you have to actively resist the attitude and often harmful advice your inner critical voice might give you.
No, this does not mean you should just blatantly ignore your partner’s downfalls. But, by getting to the root of the problem via honesty and compassion, you can save yourself a lot of built-up frustration and resentment.
2. Practice Gratitude For The Day-To-Day
In conjunction with cutting down critiques, you can also practice mindfulness and gratitude for your partner on a daily basis.
Once you have been in a relationship for a while or even live with your partner, it can be extremely easy to stop appreciating the little things they do for you.
