Obsession Is Not Love: Here’s Why You Often Confuse The Two, And How To Break The Cycle

georgerudy - - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.

If you ever had a high school crush or teenage relationship, then you probably are no stranger to a bit of obsession.

With turbulent hormones coursing through our veins and adolescent optimism clouding our vision, it was easy to fall head over heels– or so we thought.

We likely weren’t really in love. And in hindsight, it’s obviously much easier to recognize that.

At the time, though, sitting next to your crush in chemistry class or bumping shoulders while walking down the hallway probably made your heart plummet to your stomach. And at those moments, you likely thought that was what true love felt like.

It’s clear now that our teenage romances were likely rooted more in longing and idealism, an obsession with the idea of being in love.

But even if we eventually grew out of these fantasies and moved on from our teenage crushes, the truth is that obsession can still pervade our adult relationships– masquerading as love and lust when really, it’s not.

It is actually really common for adults to continue confusing the two, also. You may meet someone on a first date and barely know them, yet feel this pull that is almost electric.

And with so many people– from movie stars to book protagonists– claiming that you should just “know” when you meet the right partner, this magnetic attraction can be misleading. It pushes you to think that your infatuation and strange pull to this person is what love really is.

georgerudy – – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person

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