She’s Breaking Down Exactly How You Can Tell If Your BFF Is Really Just A Narcissist
Sometimes, maintaining friendships can be a lot of work. Everyone is #adulting now, whether they’re focusing on their careers or raising families.
With all the hustle and bustle of life happening, it can be hard to tell when a friend is genuinely busy or just jerking you around.
Daniella Astor (@daniellaastor) is able to help you break down exactly how you can tell if your BFF is really your BFF or just another narcissist in a four-part video series she posted on TikTok.
If you’re not exactly sure what the term narcissist means, it’s someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
A person with NPD may display symptoms such as an inflated sense of self, lack of empathy for others, inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.
Daniella states that a narcissistic best friend is harder to spot than a romantic partner who’s a narcissist. For one, you don’t spend as much time with a friend as you would with your fiancé.
“The behaviors of a narcissist as a friend are more socially acceptable. They’re more subtle,” explains Daniella.
One of the biggest warning signs that your BFF may be a narcissist is if they tend to overshare too quickly and too soon.
When you first met your friend, were they immediately disclosing intimate details about their life to you?
Kalim – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
Maybe they told you all about the abuse they endured during childhood or a traumatic experience with an ex.
According to Daniella, this is their way of quickly creating a bond with you, of getting closer to you.
The second red flag is if they’re constantly raving about how you are their “bestie” or “soul sister,” even though you don’t know each other particularly well.
Daniella talks about how this shower of recognition may make you feel super close and connected, but it’s really just a form of flattery used to make you feel special and to draw you in.
“If you stop to think about it, they don’t know that much about you. They might not even know your last name,” says Daniella.
“You might’ve just met them, but they’re calling you their BFF.”
The third red flag is if they ghost you for a long time for no apparent reason. This could last for weeks, months, or even years.
So, of course, you would assume that the relationship is over. But then, out of the blue, you might receive a call or a text from them, acting like nothing happened. However, for you, it’s as if they came back from the dead.
“They have no accountability, no apology, nothing. They don’t even acknowledge the fact that they disappeared for x amount of time,” says Daniella.
Daniella explains that the thought process of a narcissist is to “put you on a shelf,” essentially forgetting all about you until they need or want to reach out to you again for whatever reason.
Finally, the last red flag that you should be keeping an eye out for is if they talk to you about their friends that you’ve never met.
Daniella says that this may just sound like simple gossip, but a narcissist likes to weave long, intricate tales. She warns TikTok users about people who like to tell overly detailed stories.
This is a red flag because it shows that the person talking has no empathy about the fact that you may not care to hear such an elaborate story about someone you’ve never met and have no connection to. It’s also a method of isolating you from the other people in their life so that you feel small.
Now that you know about the four main characteristics of a narcissist, do you think your BFF is one?
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