5 Things To Always Keep In Mind After Getting Into A Fight With Your Partner
When It Comes To Relationships, Conflict Is Going To Happen
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Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. However, because conflict is inevitable, it does not mean it has to damage the relationship.
Fighting Shows You Care Enough To Have An Opinion
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It’s when both lose that fire and develop a cold and indifferent stance that the relationship may be past the point of no return.
Here Are 5 Things To Remember When You Fight With Your Partner
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With that said, there is a difference between healthy conflict and bitter conflict. So here are five things to remember when you fight with your partner in order to have productive, constructive conflicts.
#1: You Are A Team
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It is easy to get caught up in the idea that it is you vs. your partner when in reality, it is you and your partner vs. the problem. If you find yourself trying to “win” the argument, then you’ve already lost. You both want the same thing: to resolve the conflict in a way that makes you both happy.
Keep this goal in mind, and if you start to get defensive, take some time and space to cool off and compose before returning to the conflict. Focus on solutions when you come back rather than someone being right.
#2: Most Things Are Not Black And White
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Remember that there are two sides to every story, and both sides are valid. You are not always right. Your partner is not always right.
Most conflicts have nuances and layers, and rarely is there an objective reality where only one of you is right and valid. Be sure you each validate the experiences and feelings of the other. That makes resolving a conflict a little easier if you both know the other is open and understanding of where you are at the moment.
#3: You Both Need To Be Flexible
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Every relationship comes with some compromise. You do not need to compromise on everything or make the relationship one-sided to work. However, you both need to be willing to bend on some issues to provide security and happiness to your partner.
Both of you need to be flexible and willing to make compromises. If one of you is hell-bent on having everything done your way, that relationship is unlikely to last.
#4: The Goal Is To Make Things Better, Not Worse
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Keep in mind that conflicts are meant to be resolved in a way that brings you both peace, happiness, and security. Making yourself or your partner feel bad for arguing in the first place will not help matters.
Remember that the goal is to make the relationship better. Take steps to resolve things peacefully. Be mindful to practice active listening and be respectful during the argument.
#5: It Is Okay To Press Pause
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If things have begun to escalate, and one or both of you are triggered, you are then reacting out of fear and defensiveness. This will never lead to productive solutions. It is perfectly okay to pause and take a breather when things escalate.
For example, if one of you is yelling or talking over the other, or name-calling has come up, it’s time to say something like, “I cannot communicate respectfully right now. I need to take some space to calm down so we can have a respectful conversation because I love you, and I don’t want to say/do something I will regret.”
Hitting pause on a fight is always better than falling into a hurtful screaming match where you are trying to win the fight rather than resolve it.
Remember These Tips To Make Your Relationship Healthier
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Remembering these tips will make conflicts more productive and provide you with a healthier relationship in the long run. Healthy conflict leads to a happier relationship built on trust and security, knowing your partner cares enough to not only have conflicts but respects you enough to fight with you healthily.
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